Korean Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two Korean fishermen are out fishing when their boat starts to sink. They get into their dory and after a few days of drifting on

A pollster was taking opinions outside the United Nations building in New York City. He approached four men waiting to cross the street: a Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean and a resident New Yorker. He asked, "Excuse me, I would like to ask you your opinion on the current meat shortage?" The Saudi replied, "Excuse me, but what is a shortage?" The Russian said, "Excuse me, but what is meat?" The North Korean replied, "Excuse me, but what is an opinion?" The New Yorker replied, "What is' excuse me'?"

One day Will Smith and his Korean friend went to a Korean restaurant. The Korean guy ordered rice with kimchi chigae. Will Smith didn't know what to get, so he said to come back later. The Korean guy went to the bathroom after he ordered. Then the waiter came to Will Smith and asked him what he would like to order. Will Smith said, "yea I want a bowl of rice." The waiter then asked, "what would you like with that?" and Will Smith said, "yea... I want chigae with it" so when the friend got back he asked what Will Smith got with his bowl of rice and Will Smith said " gettin chigae with it"

You are immune to the smell of "the kimchi breath." You no longer come to a complete stop at the stop sign and you never yield the right-of-way. You can pick up a single strand of noodles with chopsticks. You ask for more "ko-chu" because the kimchi-chige soup is not hot enough. You enjoy slurping your noodles as loudly as you can. Your back is sore from bowing. You walk down the street holding hands with your buddy. You ask your wife to stand outside with a baseball bat to protect your public parking space in front of the house. You can eat barefooted in a restaurant with a foot in your lap. You can cut in at the front of the line of waiting people with the best of them. You look forward to winter in your off post housing so you can store beer and frozen foods in your bedroom or bathroom. You can fall asleep on the city bus and wake up at your stop. You can shovel in an entire bowl of rice and half a course of Bulkogi into your mouth before you swallow. You rather more...

You own two refrigerators, and one is just used for storing Kimchee. She gets upset if you refer to the above as the Kimchee Box. She gets upset if you put anything other than Kimchee in the Kimchee Box. She lacks common sense, or for the politically correct: Faulty Logic. You have more than one type of Kimchee. She assures you that the meat bought in the open market is better, even if it still has the AAFES tag on it. Believes that any product bought in the open market is better, even if it still has the AAFES tag on it. She has 101 uses for Soju. She uses Soju as a cleaning product. She uses Soju for medical purposes. (Disinfectant.) She will go to an American restaurant to eat Korean Food and insists that it tastes better than served in a Korean restaurant. She believes wearing platform shoes is sexy. She wears a mini skirt in the winter, then complains that it is cold. The main ingredient in the food you eat at home is garlic. She eats non-Korean food with Kimchee. She won't eat more...

KISS UP TO HIS MOTHER! This is one of the most important rules to dating a Korean man. His mother influences his life in a very real way, so be nice to her. Or else she can make your life an eternal hell (no joking about this one). Try to be thin. Almost every American woman that lives in Korea is FAT and UGLY. Sorry girls but you are. So try to stay as much as you can from this stereotype. Go the 2002 World Cup with your face painted like the Korean flag. Play games. If you know how great but if you don't LEARN. Starcraft, Broodwar, Lineage, PUMP and DDR. This is in order not to embarrass him at the arcade, if you do he will secretly resent you for the rest of his life. Besides you might really enjoy Half-Life. Make fun of Japan OFTEN Talk about how superior Tae Kwon Do is to every other martial art. LOVE HIS CAR. It doesn't matter if it is a Porsche, or a fixed up Honda, you must to at least pretend that there isn't a funny smell coming from the seats. Flattery really works. Learn more...

It is parents evening and a young teacher is called away in an emergency just before she is due to see the last set of her pupil's parents for the evening.
So she asks one of the other teachers to fill in for her. The other teacher agrees but asks for some background information before she meets the parents.
" Who is the pupil? " the substitute teacher asks.
" Oh a lovely sweet little boy but he isn't that bright, can be a bit of a handful and seems more interested in play than work. "
" Right. " says the substitute teacher as she is writing notes and then also asks, " and the mother what about her? "
" Oh, she is a Korean lady, but unfortunately she thinks that her little boy is both an angel and a genius, so please be diplomatic when you talk with her, as she really got upset last time when I said I thought her son was probably not equipped for a future career in Medicine and that he might possibly have to consider an more...