Labels Jokes / Recent Jokes
Part 9 - (The Future of Real Programmers) - the final part
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What of future? It is a matter of some concern to Real Programmers that the latest generation of
computer programmers are not being brought up with the same outlook on life as their elders. Many of
them have never seen a computer with a front panel. Hardly anyone graduating from school these days
can do hex arithmetic without a calculator. College graduates these days are soft - protected from the
realities of programming by source level debuggers, text editors that count parentheses, and "user friendly"
opearing systems. Worst of all, some of these alleged "computer scientists" manage to get degrees without
ever learning FORTRAN! Are we destined to become an industry of Unix hackers and PASCAL
programmers?
From my experience, I can only report that the furure is bright for Real Programmers everywhere. more...
New Official Politically Correct Terms for the 90'sOLD
NEWconservative-reactionarythe establishment-white power elitehearing person-temporarily aurally abledsighted person-temporarily visually abledblind-visually challengedmute-vocally challengeddeaf-aurally challengeddead-metabolically differentalive-temporarily metabolically abledugly-aesthetically challengedfat-gravitationally challengedheavy-set-people of massrude-politically correct psychopath-socially misalignedcrooked-ethically challengedklutzy-kinesthetically challengedbald-follicularly challengedshort-differently staturednon-white, non-male oppressed-white melanin impoverished / genetically oppressivewhite male-oppressorblack-african-americanasian-asian-americanafro-american-african-americanminority group-numerically challenged group; under-represented populationblack-person of colorChicano-person of colorweird green freak-person of colorfemale-person of genderdrooling drunk idiot-person on floorgroup of more...
Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as
possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods
On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)
On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's' just' a suggestion!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)
(Whose body?)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive more...
These are actual instruction labels on
consumer goods:
On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)
On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's' just' a suggestion!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)
(Whose body?)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the more...
New Official Politically Correct Terms for the 90'sOLD---------------NEWconservative--reactionarythe establishment--white power elitehearing person--temporarily aurally abledsighted person--temporarily visually abledblind--visually challengedmute--vocally challengeddeaf--aurally challengeddead--metabolically differentalive--temporarily metabolically abledugly--aesthetically challengedfat--gravitationally challengedheavy-set--people of massrude--politically correct psychopath--socially misalignedcrooked--ethically challengedklutzy--kinesthetically challengedbald--follicularly challengedshort--differently staturednon-white, non-male oppressed--white melanin impoverished / genetically oppressivewhite male--oppressorblack--african-americanasian--asian-americanafro-american--african-americanminority group--numerically challenged group; under-represented populationblack--person of colorChicano--person of colorweird green freak--person of colorfemale--person of genderdrooling drunk more...