Ladder Jokes / Recent Jokes
A man wakes up one morning and there's a gorilla on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for Gorilla Removers so he calls the number.The gorilla remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He's got a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull. He hands the shotgun to the homeowner. "What are you going to do?" the homeowner asks."I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, and then I'm going to go up there and knock the gorilla off the roof with this baseball bat. When the gorilla falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his nuts and not let go. Then I can get the gorilla into the back of the van.""What's the shotgun for?" asks the homeowner."If the gorilla knocks ME off the roof, shoot the dog!"
A shapely farm girl waited on customers at the rural Mom and Pop grocery store. She was a perpetual draw of the young teenage boys in the town, not because of her beauty, but because she always wore a mini-skirt and no underwear.
Every day the boys would step up to the counter and ask for items that were on the top-most shelf in front of them. The young beauty would climb the 8-foot ladder behind the counter, then stretch as far as she could reach to retrieve the merchandise. The bulging-eyed boys would ogle the bare-bottomed delight and leave with their purchase and a bulge in their pants.
The young girl got tired of climbing the ladder for every boy who came into the store and tried rearranging the stock by putting slow-moving items on the top shelf, to no avail. No matter what she put on the top shelf, that was the most popular item of the day!
One Saturday, she was waiting on two young boys and an old farmer who had come to town for his weekly groceries. The first more...
A general store owner hires a young female clerk with a penchant for very short skirts. One day a young man enters the store, glances at the clerk, and glances at the loaves of bread behind the counter.' I`d like some raisin bread, please,' the man says politely.
The clerk nods and climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread, located on the very top shelf. The man, standing almost directly beneath her, is provided with an excellent view.
As the clerk retrieves the bread, a small group of male customers gather around the young man, looking in the same direction. Pretty soon each person is asking for raisin bread, just to see the clerk climb up and down.
After a few trips the clerk is tired and irritated. She stops and fumes at the top of the ladder, glaring at the men standing below. She notices an elderly man standing amongst the throng.' Is yours raisin too?' the clerk yells testily.
'No,' croaks the feeble old man....'But it's startin' to more...
Sam-Doing Some Work With Ladder And Measuring Tape.
John-What Are You Doing?
Sam-Trying To Measure The Length Of This Ladder.
John-Keep The Ladder On The Ground And Then Measure It.
Sam-You Fool. I Want To Measure It's Length Not It's Breadth.
Pagan Lightbulb Jokes (Okay, this is REALLY vague, but I'm sure some people are going to love it...)
*How many lesbian feminist Dianic Wiccans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just one, and it's NOT FUNNY!!!
*How many Dianics does it take to change a light bulb?
(any large number here) -- One to change the light bulb, one to prepare the environmental impact statement, and the rest to do a self-criticism afterwards...
*How many Dianics does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but that bulb has really got to want to change.
*How many years does it take a Dianic Wiccan to change a lightbulb?
You can change it whenever you are empowered to do so.
*How many years does it take a Dianic Wiccan to change a lightbulb?
Not sure.....we'll call Z. Bhudapest and get back to you!
*How many Dianic women does it take to change a lightbulb?
That's W-I-M-M-I-N, more...
When design engineers get together they often talk about football.
When Middle management meet, they talk about tennis.
When top management meet they talk golf.
Conclusion: The higher you climb in the corporate ladder the smaller your balls become.