Ladder Jokes / Recent Jokes

A group of managers were given he assignment to measure the height of a flagpole. So they went to the flagpole with a ladder and a measuring tape. They keep falling off the ladder, dropping the tape and the whole thing in mess. An engineer comes along and sees what they are trying to do. He walks over, pull the flagpole out of the ground, lay it flat, measure it from end to end, gives the measurement to one of the manager and walk away. After the engineer left, one of the manager turns to another and laughs. "Isn't that just like an engineer? We are looking for the height and he gives us the length."

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
"How many can you afford?"
It only takes one to change your bulb... to his.
Two. One to change it and one to keep interrupting by standing up and shouting "Objection!"
Three. One to do it and two to sue him for malpractice.
Three. One to turn the bulb, one to shake him off the ladder, and the third to sue the ladder company.
Three. One to sue the power company for insufficiently supplying power, or negligent failure to prevent the surge that made the bulb burn out in the first place, one to sue the electrician who wired the house, and one to sue the bulb manufacturers.
Fifty four. Eight to argue, one to get a continuance, one to object, one to demur, two to research precedents, one to dictate a letter, one to stipulate, five to turn in their time cards, one to depose, one to write interrogatories, two to settle, one to order a secretary to change the bulb, and twenty-eight to more...

Q: Why did the music teacher need a ladder? A: To reach the high notes.

A man is in a garden, when a ladder comes down from the heavens. He hears an unearthly voice saying: "Climb the ladder to success". So he goes up, and after a while, there's a really ugly woman on a landing on the side of the ladder. She says to him: "Fuck me or climb the ladder to success." He thinks about it, but decides he rather have success.
He goes up, and sees two quite nice women sitting on a landing on the side. "Fuck us or climb the ladder to success." He thinks about it, but decides its not worth it.
He goes up again, and there are three really beautiful women on the next landing. "Fuck us or climb the ladder to success." He thinks about it, but realises that the women are getting much more beautiful, younger, and are increasing in number as he climbs the ladder. So he climbs the ladder, and reaches the top.
Theres a young man sitting there. "Hi, I'm Cess."

Three little boys went into a candy store. "I want two cents worth of jelly beans," the first boy said to the clerk. The clerk frowned. The jelly beans were on the top self, and he didn't like climbing up there just to sell two cents worth, but he did it. When he came down, he put away his ladder and turned to the second boy.
"What will you have?" he asked.
"I'll have two cents worth of jelly beans, too," said the boy. Angrily, the clerk got the ladder and climbed up to get the jelly beans. While he was still up there, he turned to the third boy.
"You don't want two cents worth of jelly beans, do you?" asked the man.
"No, sir," answered the third boy, so the man climbed down and put away the ladder.
"Now, what do you want?" the clerk asked the boy.
"A nickel's worth of the jelly beans," replied the lad.

A general store owner hires a young female clerk with a penchant for very short
skirts. One day a young man enters the store, glances at the clerk, and glances
at the loaves of bread behind the counter. "I'd like some raisin bread, please,"
the man says politely.
The clerk nods and climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread located on the
very top shelf. The man, standing almost directly beneath her, is provided with
an excellent view. As the clerk retrieves the bread, a small group of male
customers gather around the young man, looking in the same direction.
Pretty soon each person is asking for raisin bread, just to see the clerk climb
up and down.
After a few trips the clerk is tired and irritated. She stops and fumes at the
top of the ladder, glaring at the men standing below. She notices an elderly man
standing amongst the throng. "Is yours raisin too?" the clerk yells testily.
"No," croaks the more...

Q: Why did the boy bring a ladder to chorus? A: He wanted to sing higher!