Ladder Jokes / Recent Jokes

Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has a
Clock Tower when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the
Tower.Sardarji says "Yes". "Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get
a ladder." The man took the thousand and disappeared.
Having waited for several hours the Sardarji figured he wastaken ride.
On the next day the Sardarji is again walking along the same streetand the
same man asks him to buy the clock. "Give me a thousand rupees
and I'll go get a ladder." The Sardarji gives him the thousand and says "I
am not a fool. This time, you wait and I'll go get a ladder."

Q: How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?
A: She has an uncontrollable craving for baloney.
Q: How does an attorney sleep?
A: First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
Q: How many lawyer JOKES are there?
A: Only three -- the rest are TRUE.
Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: How many can you afford?
Q: How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three. One to climb the ladder, one to shake it, and one to sue the ladder company.
Q: If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?
Q: What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?
A: Skeet.
Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad?
A: Senator.
Q: What do you get when you cross a corrupt politician with a crooked lawyer?
A: Chelsea Clinton.
Q: What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?
A: His partners.
Q: more...

** How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? How many can you afford?
** How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to climb the ladder, one to shake it, and one to sue the ladder company.
** If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?

Q: How many lawyer jokes are there?
A: Just two, all the rest are true.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?
A: An offer you can't understand.

Q: What is a criminal lawyer?
A: Redundant.

Q: How many personal injury attorneys does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three--one to turn the bulb, one to shake him off the ladder, and the third to sue the ladder company.

Q: Why does California have the most attorneys, and New Jersey have the most toxic waste dumps?
A: New Jersey got first pick.

Q: What's black and brown and looks good on an attorney?
A: A doberman pinscher.

Q: Why did the blonde women bring a ladder to the pub

A: Because she heard drinks were on the house

Jack was walking around when he noticed a ladder that went up into the clouds. After climbing the first cloud he met a stinky, unattractive woman who said, "Have sex with me or climb the ladder to success." Jack chose to climb the ladder. At the next cloud he met a slightly better looking woman who said, "Have sex with me or climb the ladder to success." Figuring it only gets better, Jack chose to climb the ladder some more. At the next cloud, he met a very attractive woman who said, "Have sex with me or climb the ladder to success." Things were getting better the higher he got, so Jack chose to climb the ladder even more. At the fourth cloud, he met the most gorgeous woman to ever grace the Universe. She looked at him seductively and begged, "Have sex with me or climb the ladder to success." Jack was extremely tempted to satisfy his urges but still, he climbed the ladder to success. At the fifth cloud, Jack was startled when a greasy, 500lb more...

Two men were painting a house.
Pat: Have you got a good hold on that paint brush, Mick?
Mick: Yes, I have. Why?
Pat: Well, hold on tight, because I'm taking this ladder away.