Ladder Jokes / Recent Jokes
Two Canadian guys, Mike and Rob were on the roof, laying tile, when a sudden gust of wind came and knocked down their ladder. "I have an idea," said Mike. "We'll throw you down, and then you can pick up the ladder." "What, do you think I'm stupid? I have an idea. I'll shine my flashlight, and you can climb down on the beam of light." "What, do you think I'm stupid? You'll just turn off the flashlight when I'm halfway there."
There were two blondes sitting on the roof of a house. The ladder they had used to get on the roof fell down onto the ground.
Blonde #1: Go get the ladder!
Blonde #2: No way! If I jump down, I'll kill myself.
Blonde #1: I know! I'll shine my flashlight down to the ground and you can climb down the beam of light.
Blonde #2: No way! You'll just turn off the flashlight when I'm halfway down!
Two Canadian guys, Mike and Rob were on the roof, laying tile, when a sudden gust of wind came and knocked down their ladder. "I have an idea," said Mike. "We'll throw you down, and then you can pick up the ladder.""What, do you think I'm stupid? I have an idea. I'll shine my flashlight, and you can climb down on the beam of light.""What, do you think I'm stupid? You'll just turn off the flashlight when I'm halfway there."
How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
You won't find a lawyer who can change a light bulb. Now, if you're looking for a lawyer to screw a light bulb. . .
How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three. One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?
What are lawyers good for?
They make used car salesmen look good.
What did the lawyer name his daughter?
Sue.
What did the terrorist that hijacked a jumbo-jet full of lawyers do?
He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren't met.
What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?
They're both extinct.
What do lawyers and sperm have in common?
It takes 300, 000 of them to make one human being.
What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in more...
Santa's wife, Jeeto, goes into a pet store one day.
She says to the clerk, "I need a pet to keep me company."
"Well," replies the clerk. "How about this nice parrot? He'll talk to you."
"Hey, that's great."
She likes the idea and buys the parrot and takes him home. Next day, Jeeto comes back to the pet store.
"You know, that parrot isn't talking to me yet," she says.
"Hmmm, let's see," says the clerk. "I know! You buy this little ladder for his cage. He'll climb the ladder...and then he'll talk."
"OK." So off she goes with a newly purchased ladder.
Next day, Jeeto comes back to the pet store.
"Hey, that parrot still hasn't said a word," Jeeto says to the pet store clerk.
He thinks a minute. "How about this little mirror?" he says. "You hang it at the top of the ladder. The parrot will climb the ladder, look in the mirror and then he'll talk more...
Q. How do you get down from an aerial ladder? A. You don't get down from an aerial ladder. You get down from a duck.
Q: How many seventies disco dancers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two. One to boogie up the ladder and one to say "Get daaowwwwn! "
Q: How many Chinamen does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Thousands, because Confucious say many hands make light work.
Q: How many blacks does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Three: One to boogie up the ladder, two to keep the beat.
Q: How many Asians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Three. One to change it and two to go to the cash & carry.
Q: How many Poles does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one, but you need 6000 Russian troops in case he goes on strike!
Q: How many Polish-Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 170. One to send the Never Fail Novena to the Cheektowaga Times for publication so St. Jude may grant the lightbulb request, one to say the Last Rites for the old lightbulb, ten volunteer firemen to break into more...