Lads Jokes / Recent Jokes
There was this lady who was sexually frustrated and had tried to get her husband sexually stimulated but nothing seemed to work. She tried sexy lingerie, toys etc etc but had no luck.
So one day she asked her friend what she should do... "It's really annoying me now! He's just not up for it. He's always out down the pub with the lads. What can I do?"
Her friend suggested, "Well, if he's always out with the lads why don't you give him an extra tenner so he enjoys himself even more and then he'll come home and thank you appropriately..."
So the woman tried this and this is what happened on his return:
Man: Take Your clothes off!
Woman thinks: Whoa! This is working!
Man: Stand on your head!
Woman: Ooohh Kinky!!!
Man: Spread your legs apart!
Woman thinks: This has really worked, give it to me!
The man then gets a small mirror and places it in-between her legs.
Woman thinks: This is a new one!
Man says: You more...
Men only: LADS QUIZ.
1. In the company of feminists, intercourse should be referred to as:
a) Lovemaking
b) Screwing
c) The pigskin bus pulling into tuna town
2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:
a) Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship
b) Your blood-test results
c) Five tequila slammers
3. You time your orgasm so that:
a) Your partner climaxes first
b) You both climax simultaneously
c) You don't miss Match of the Day
4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
a) Healthy, creative love-play
b) Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would ever agree to
c) Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find out about
5. Spending the whole night in bed with a woman you've just had sex with is:
a) The best part of the experience
b) The second best part of the experience
c) 100 dollars extra
6. Your more...