Laid Jokes / Recent Jokes
There was once a indian and an pakistani who lived next door to each other. The indian owned a hen and each morning would look in his garden and pick up one of his hen's eggs for breakfast.
One day he looked into his garden and saw that the hen had laid an egg in the pakistani's garden. He was about to go next door when he saw the pakistani pick up the egg. The indian ran up to the pakistani and told him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the hen. The pakistani disagreed because the egg was laid on his property.
They argued for a while until finally the indian said, "in my family we normally solve disputes by the following actions: i kick your back and time how long it takes you to get back up, then you kick me and time how long it takes for me to get up, who ever gets up quicker wins the egg."
The pakistani agreed to this and so the indian found his heaviest pair of boots and put them on, he took a few steps back, then ran toward more...
The best laid plans of mice and men are all filed away somewhere.
There was a quirky breed of dinosaur called an "Adoptosaurus". Adoptosauruses laid eggs and often times forgot where they laid them or whose eggs were who's. Basically, they "adopted" the eggs they found and claimed them as their own.
Adoptosauruses didn't eat meat because it wasn't apart of their dino-religion. They thought eating meat made dinosaurs fat and have wrinkly skin. Adoptosauruses ate flowers because they thought it made them smell good. They thought they were the best of all the dinosaurs.
Maybe they went extinct so fast because their babies got hungry and ate each other, or the T-rexes found them and ate them, or maybe they were just stupid dinosaurs that adopted their own eggs.
There was a scottish man who lived next to an englishman in Scottland.The scottsman owns chicken that lays an egg every morning that the scottsman eats for breakfeast. One day the chicken laid an egg in the englishmans backyard.After seeing this the scottsman goes nextdoor and asks the englishman for the egg. The englishman tells him "No it was laid on my property so the egg is mine." After arguing for a while the scottsman says "It is tradition to settle these matters by kicking eachother right between the legs and whoever gets up first wins!" The englishman agrees.SO the scottsman goes first and finds his biggest, heaviest, and sturdiest boots he owns, and kicks the englishman where it hurts. The englishman falls to ground and after about a minute afterwards he gets back up and says "O its my turn."then the scottish man says "No thats ok you can keep the egg,"
There was once two farmers who lived next door to each other. One had a hen and each morning would
look in his garden and pick up one of his hen's eggs for breakfast.
One day, as he looked into his garden, he saw that the hen had laid an egg in his neighbor's garden
next door. He was about to go get it when the other farmer quickly picked it up. The first farmer ran
up to the second farmer and told him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the hen. The
second farmer disagreed because the egg, as he pointed out, was laid on his property.
They argued back and forth for a while until finally the first farmer said, "In my family we normally
solve disputes by the following actions: I'll kick you in the groin and see how long it takes you to
get back up, then you kick me in the groin and see how long it takes for me to get up... whoever gets
back up the fastest, takes the egg."
The second farmer agreed to this. The first more...
How to get laid: (for all you boys and gurls who cant get none
1. Dont be gay (boys)
2.be lesbian
3.Always have condoms on hand (gurls and Boys)
4.Support alchohol (gurls and boys)
5.Look up gurls skirts (guys)
6.Grab guys asses (gurls
7.Be a slut (gurls)