Lankan Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Sri Lankan is calmly having his breakfast when an American, typically chewing gum, sits down beside him. The Sri Lankan ignores the American who begins to chat:

The American: Do you eat that bread-entirely?
The Sri Lankan: Of course!
The American: We do not. We only eat the inner part, the crust is put in a container, later processed, transformed into flour and then sold to Sri Lanka. The Sri Lankan says nothing.
The American continues: Do you eat this jelly with the bread?
The Sri Lankan repeats: Of course.
The American: We do not. We eat our fresh fruits for breakfast; we keep all the peels and seeds in the containers. Later we process it, and transform it into jelly and then we sell it to Sri Lanka.

The Sri Lankan asks: And what do you do with the condoms after you use them?
The American: We throw them away, of course!
The Sri Lankan: We do not. We keep them in containers, process them, transform them in to chewing gum and more...

A man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country.
He goes to the German hell and asks, "What do they do here?" He told, "First they put you in an electric chair for An hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then The German devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day."
The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on. He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more.
He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell.
Then he comes to the Sri Lankan hell and finds that there is a long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed, he asks, "What do they do here?"
He told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Sri Lankan devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day."
"But that is exactly the same as all the more...

A Sri lankan visit his friend in newyork. They went for a night out. Friend said when ever you go for a girl make sure to wear a condom so that you will not get HIV.
They were walking at 42nd street and suddenly a guy came infront of them and demanded all the money they had and threatne to inject HIV.
The friend suddenly gave all his money and ask his sri lankan friend to do the same but he refused. The robber injected the HIV and disappeared.
His friend was so upset and told him you are new to this city and why didnt you give your money to him? Do you know that you are already injected with Deadliest HIV.
Sri lankan friend said "Dont worry i am already wearing a Condom"

( this joke only for Sri Lankans)
One day there were two policemen checking vehicles at the Peliyagoda bridge. At about 11. 45 pm a new car came and stopped in front of the policemen. Inside a well built European man. When he was about to speak one of the policeman just passed back of the security hut because he has very very less knowledge in English. Other policeman also in the same boat, but he cannot escape the place because somebody has to be there to face the foreigner.
Foreigner asked policeman about a road and how to go there in English. The policeman knows the road but he cannot explain in English. So he kept quiet. Foreigner asked the policeman in French. Policeman was in silence. Foreigner asked the policeman in German. Policeman was in silence. Foreigner asked the policeman in three or four other languages but could not get the answer from the policeman. So he went away.
The policeman at the back of the security hut was hearing all these things came in front more...

The Queen Elizabeth, Bill Clinton and the Sri Lankan president died and went to hell.
The Queen Elizabeth said: I miss England, I wanna call England and see how everybody is doing there.... she called and talked for about 5 minutes... then she said: well, devil how much do I owe you????
The devil goes: five million dollars... five million dollars!!! she made him a cheque and went to sit back on her chair....
Bill Clinton was so jealous, he starts screaming, me too I wanna call the united states, I wanna see how everybody is doing too... he called and talked for about 2 minutes, then he said: well, devil how much do I owe you????
The devil goes: ten million dollars..... ten million dollars!!!! he made him a cheque and went to sit back on his chair.....
The Sri Lankan president was extremely jealous too... he starts
screaming and screaming,, I wanna call Sri Lanka too, I wanna see how everybody is doing there too, I wanna talk to the ministers, to the more...