Lankan Jokes / Recent Jokes
Gilchrist and Sangakkara
The ICC 2007 World Cup final between Sri Lanka and Australia is now history and another traingular series of matches coming ahead.
There has been loads of articles published, wide range of views expressed and many postmortems by various individuals, including past and present cricketers held.
I have been carefully reading all the stuff, including our own' on-the-spot' reports filed by veteran cricket writer Dr. Elmo Rodrigopulle, the only Sri Lankan English journalist to cover the entire tournament.
Whilst thinking of all those action paced episodes from the Caribbean for nearly two months, I had a dream.
Yes! That was a dream final.
Sri Lanka captain Mahela Jayawardena won the toss and elected to bat first in a final curtailed to 38 overs per side due to morning rain. Sri Lanka made a commanding total of 281 for 4 in their allocated 38 overs. The architect of the massive Lankan total was none other than wicket keeper batsman more...
If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman
If you don't, you are not a man
If you praise her, she thinks you are lying
If you don't, you are good for nothing
If you agree to all her likes, you are a wimp
If you don't, you are not understanding
If you visit her often, she thinks it is boring
If you don't, she accuses you of double-crossing
If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy
If you don't, you are a dull boy
If you are jealous, she says it's bad
If you don't, she thinks you do not love her
If you attempt a romance, she says you didn't respect her
If you don't, she thinks you do not like her
If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard to wait
If she is late, she says that's a girl's way
If you visit another woman, you're not putting in "quality time"
If she is visited by another man, "oh it's natural, we are girls"
If you kiss her once in a while, she more...
What do you call Shahan, a Sri Lankan with a wooden leg?
Shit on a stick!!
What do u call Shahan, a Sri Lankan with 2 wooden legs?
A waste of wood!!
How Long did it take the mother of the Sri Lankan to shit....
in the case of the person already mentioned??
9 months!!
Why don't they teach sex education... and driving in Sri Lanka on the same day??
They don't want to wear out the camel.
Shahen.....
WE LOVE YA MAN!
There was three guys one of them was a Sri lankan guy.
when the wight man said that in thier country that when they
dick about 500 feet underground they found telephone wire so he
said that they have used telephone longe time ago. but the Black man
said that when they dick 700 feet they found telephone wires so
they have used telephone long long time ago. But the Sri Lankan
guy said that when in our country we dick more that 1000 feet and
we couldn't found any wires so we should have used handphone
very very long time ago.
A Sri Lankan old lady who was living with her grand son in a village decided to send the boy to Ananda college in Colombo as he was the studious sort. Just before the holidays began she got a request from the boy to buy him a bike.
So the boy came home and noticed the new bike. Instead of doing any studies he gets up in the morning and goes out riding nearly whole day every day. When the grand ma expressed her dismay, the boy said sit down on the door step and watch. He rode round the house without holding the handle bars and said Aachchi no hands. Then he went again without peddling and said Aachchi no feet. Then he said aachchi this time no hand and no feet and started off. Now Aachchi waited for a while but no sign of the boy. So she thought that he pulled a fast one and disappeared and went round the house to have a look. Then suddenly the boy appeared from some bushes saying aachchi no teeth.
After digging to a depth of 100m last year, Russian
scientists found traces of copper wiring dating back 1000 years, and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network one thousand years ago.
So as not to be outdone, in the weeks that followed,
American scientists dug 200m, and headlines in the US newspapers read: "US scientists have found traces of 2000 year old optical fibres, and have concluded that their ancestors already had advanced high-tech digital telephone 1000 years earlier than the Russians."
One week later, the Sri Lankan press reported the following: "After digging as deep as 500m, Sri Lankan scientists have found absolutely nothing. They have concluded that 5000 years ago, their ancestors were already using mobile phones."
Silly Sri Lankan Joke - posted by MLL E-mail:
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Once a foreigner came to Sri Lanka. There were mosquitoes, so he bought a mosquito net os he could sleep w/out deling w/ buzzing mosquitoes. The 1st night, he slept well. the 2nd night, there were fireflies hovering above his mosquito net. He panicked & ran screaming into the night saying,"Oh my gods, Sri Lankan mosqitoes carry lanterns!!!!!!!!!"
{;^D
MLL
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Premadasa Joke - posted by unknown E-mail:
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premadasa went to the opening ceromny of the
auditorium at ladies college
having exited looking at the chicks
he started the speech saying
I have never seen hall like ladies hall