Laugh Jokes / Recent Jokes
When do accountants laugh out loud? When somebody asks for a raise
There once was a college professor who didn't buy into the whole "there's no such thing as a stupid question" philosophy. Every year when he had a new class he instructed the students to ask him as many stupid questions as they could think of on the first day. That way, he figured, there'd be a minimized amount of stupidity for the duration of the term.
The professor thought he'd heard every stupid question there was and didn't laugh no matter what his students asked him, not even a smirk. Then, finally, a student asked something that he'd never heard before. The question made him laugh so hard he couldn't stand up. A lanky, tomboyish girl raised her hand with a wry smile on her face, stood up and asked, "What is a question?"
There was a guy he walked into this bar. On the door it read "If you can make my horse laugh then I will give you $50". So he walked up to the bar tender and said I can make your horse laugh. So he went out in the back alley and came back and the horse was laughing. So the bar tender said a deal is a deal and gave him his $50. Then about three months later the same guy came back into this bar and say a sign on the door it read: If you can make my horse cry then I will give you $50. So he walked up to the bar tender and said I can make your horse laugh. So he went in to the back alley and made the horse cry. He came back in and the bar tender said a deal is a deal but first tell me how you hade my horse laugh and cry. He said to make him laugh I told him mine is bigger than his. To make him cry I showed him! "One day a Newfie goes down to the village carpenter and requests a wooden crate that is 1 inch tall, 1 inch wide and 50 feet long." When the carpenter asks more...
This farmer had a donkey it was a so un happy so he ask this bloke if he could try and make his donkey laugh ok said the bloke he went up to the donkey and whispered something in his ear he stepped back, the donkey started to laugh the farmer could not believe it ok you can make him laugh can you make him cry. The bloke said no problems he went over to the donkey whispered something in his ear then stepped back the donkey started to cry as the bloke was walking of the farmer said hold on one minute how did you make my donkey laugh? The bloke said it was easy I said to the donkey my dick is bigger than yours how did you make him cry I showed it to him.
A man walks up to the bar, and speaks to the bartender. "I bet you $500 that I can piss in this cup from across the room." The bartender looks at the man like he was nuts and says with a laugh, "Ooook buddy. You got a deal." So the man walks over to the other side of the room, pulls down his zipper and just lets it fly. Piss goes everywhere; on the bar, on customers, all over the bartender, but not a drop lands in the cup. The man walks back over to the bartender. The bartender says, "Ha ha ha. Well pay up." So the man pays him, turns around and begins to laugh hysterically. The bartender asks, "You just lost $500, why are you laughing?" The man turns around and says to the bartender, "Well you see that man over there." The bartender says, "Yeah." He replies, "Well, I bet him $10, 000 that I could piss all over your bar and you, and that you would be happy and laugh about it!"
One day a guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "if you can make that horse over there laugh you can have free drinks for the rest of the night".
So he says "ok" and walks over to the horse and whispers something in his ear and he starts laughing and the bartender gives him free drinks for the rest of the night.
The next night the same guy comes back in and the bartender says "if you can make that horse over there cry i will give you free drinks for the rest of the night.
So he walks over there and does something and the horse starts crying, and the bartender gives him free drinks. Then the bartender asks what the man did to make the horse laugh and what he did to make him cry.
The man says "To make him laugh I told him I had a bigger dick than he does and to make him cry I showed him".