Laugh Jokes / Recent Jokes
One day a guy walks into a bar. The bartender says “if you can make that horse over there laugh you can have free drinks for the rest of the night”.
So he says “ok” and walks over to the horse and whispers something in his ear and he starts laughing and the bartender gives him free drinks for the rest of the night.
The next night the same guy comes back in and the bartender says “if you can make that horse over there cry i will give you free drinks for the rest of the night.
So he walks over there and does something and the horse starts crying, and the bartender gives him free drinks. Then the bartender asks what the man did to make the horse laugh and what he did to make him cry.
The man says “To make him laugh I told him I had a bigger dick than he does and to make him cry I showed him”.
On a recent weekend in Atlantic City, a woman won a bucketful of quarters at a slot machine. Then took a break from the slots for dinner with her husband in the hotel dining room. But first she wanted to stash the quarters in her room.
"I'll be right back and we'll go to eat," she told her husband and she carried the coin-laden bucket to the elevator she noticed two men already aboard.
Both were black.
One of them was big... very big... an intimidating figure. The woman froze. Her first thought was: These two are going to rob me. Her next thought was: Don't be a bigot, they look like perfectly nice gentlemen.
But racial stereotypes are powerful, and fear immobilized her. She stood and stared at the two men. She felt anxious, flustered, ashamed. She hoped they didn't read her mind, but knew they surely did; her hesitation about joining them on the elevator was all too obvious. Her face was flushed.
She couldn't just stand there, so with a mighty effort of more...
George and God
George wanted to perform a leap of faith to prove to his friends that God does exist, so they all drove up to nearby Mount Sarcasm. At the top of the plateau they stopped and all got out and George says I will prove to you once and for all that God is real.
The friends all look at each other and laugh... one guy says Soooooo, let me get this straight...ya gonna jump of this mountain with no parachute and hope that this almighty is gonna catch ya?
Yes says George full of confidence.
The friends all laugh louder this time and goad George on to do the jump. One guy by the name of Sid says Hey George, since ya gonna die, can I have ya boots?
George sneered at the remark, ran towards the edge of the mountain and leapt off.
On the way down he gets very disconcerted that God had not shown up yet to save him and soon realises that he is going to die any second. His last vocal was OH, GOD HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeee...thud!
The friends looked over more...
Q: How come you never hear anything about the 10th reindeer "Olive"?
A: Yeah, you know, "Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names"
Q: Why did the little girl change her mind about buying her grandmother a packet of handkerchiefs for Christmas?
A: Yeah, you know, "Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names"
Q: Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?
A: You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
Q: What was so good about he neurotic doll the girl was given for Christmas?
A: It was wound up already.
Q: What's a good holiday tip?
A: Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
Q: What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
A: It’s Christmas, Eve!
Q: How do you make an idiot laugh on boxing day?
A: Tell him a joke on Christmas more...
1.) You listen to it before you go to sleep 2.) You have you favorite songs in Mp2, Mp3, wav, and midi format 3.) You know the name of the song by hearing the first ten seconds of the song 4.) You tell your friends that Minmei is a bigger pop star then Michael Jackson and your friends point at you and laugh and say "Ha Michael Jackson" 5.) You go to Japan just to buy the Robot Carnival soundtrack 6.) You have all the Sailor Moon CDs 7.) You go to Japan and the only anime soundtrack that you bought is the North American Sailor Moon CD 8.) Somebody asked you if you listen to Smashing Pumpkins and you ask them what anime did they do 9.) You buy a CD player just for those Ranma CDs, love that Doco 10.) You have arguments which female band is sexier Spice Girls, En Vogue, or Doco 11.) You can actually say which member of Doco sounds better (Megumi Hayashibara in my opinion) 12.) J-pop is next on your list 13.) Zip disk and Jaz disks filled with anime music that you downloaded more...
i bet, one day, after the world blows up, we'll all look back at global warming and all the other "theories" and just laugh and laugh.
1. There is a gay man at your house. Do you stay home or go to work?
2.(pickup line) Hey baby, come over her and sit on my lap and let's talk about the first thing that pops up.
3. Your Uncle Jack is working on a roof and gets stuck on the ladder. Do you help your Uncle jack off?