Leads Jokes

Monsters, Inc. was a cute animated movie that is pretty funny, but definitely for kids. You should go see it if you have kids, are a kid, or like to pretend you're a kid late at night by wearing diapers. It's made by the Pixar people, who did Toy Story and A Bug's Life, and that pretty much tells you what to expect. Same technology, but a couple years later, so it's a little better, a little more lifelike. Movie gets a nice, solid 3 6/7 Babylons. You'll have a good time, but try not to see it in a theater filled with too many kids- they can be annoying. Especially when the one right behind you spends the last fifteen minutes kicking your chair telling its Mommy that it needs to go to the bathroom.

OK, now let's talk about the Star Wars trailer.

By now, you have seen it, or heard it, or had it described to you by a cyber-dork named C3PO4EVR on a host of fan sites. You know it's really short. You know there is no dialogue. You know that the only sound you get is more...

One day a Pope and a lawyer die. They arrive at the Pearly Gates together and are ushered in. Angel Gabriel accompanies them with much fanfare on his trumpet.
Gabriel leads the two along a huge corridor lined with doors. After a while he stops at one of the doors and opens it. He tells the Pope, ''this is your room, I hope it is satisfactory''. The Pope sees that the room has a bed, chair, desk and a small radio/TV.
Gabriel then leads the lawyer to the end of the hall, and stops at a huge double-doorway. He opens the massive door and the lawyer is stunned to see a kingsize waterbed, a pool table, a massive home entertainment unit and a well stocked wine bar. The lawyer gasped when told that this was his room. ''There must be some mistake!'' exclaimed the lawyer. ''Surely a room so grand as this would be reserved for someone like the Pope''.
Angel Gabriel turned to the lawyer and said, ''Oh, no, there is no mistake. We have dozens of Popes. But you are our first lawyer!!''

Tommy Shaughnessy enters the confessional box and says,
"Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman."
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Tommy Shaughnessy?"
"Yes, Father, it is."
"And who was the woman you were with?"
"I can't be tellin' you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."
"Well, Tommy, I'm sure to find out sooner or later, so you may as well
tell me now.
Was it Brenda O'Malley?"
"I cannot say."
"Was it Patricia Kelly?"
"I'll never tell."
"Was it Liz Shannon?"
"I'm sorry, but I'll not tell her name."
"Was it Cathy Morgan?"
"My lips are sealed."
"Was it Fiona McDonald, then?"
"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."
The priest sighs in frustration. "You're a steadfast lad, Tommy
Shaughnessy, and I more...

One thing leads to another? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask any addict.

Pierre is visiting New York City from Montreal for the weekend. After he unpacks, he decides to go for a walk and get familiar with the area. He is walking through Central Park when he notices a beautiful woman sitting on a park bench. So he starts talking to her, talking leads to dinner, dinner leads to dancing, and before you know it, they are spending the rest of the weekend in his hotel room.
Six months later, Pierre is extradited back to NYC because the woman is charging him with rape. So the judge says to him,
"Pierre, I have heard her side of the story, now tell me your side." Pierre says, "Your Honor, we meet in ze park, we talk, we go to dinner, we go out dancing, we go back to hotel room and make love." The judge says,
"Now Pierre, no one is disputing the fact that you had intercourse with this woman, but what we need to know is did you have her consent." And Pierre replies, "Oh oui oui your Honor, I had her cunt scent on my more...