Legged Jokes / Recent Jokes
A guy sits in a bar when the barkeeper starts talking about his dog, "My dog is
the most vicious killing machine in the area. If I had not tied it by a huge
chain, it would kill other dogs or children all the time."
And really the guy can see a doberman snarling in the corner tied by a huge
chain. The guy looks up and says, "I bet you a beer that my dog that is tied up
outside the pub has no problem killing your dog."
"Oh really?" answers the bar keeper, "what breed of dog do you have?"
"A long nosed, short legged, long tailed terrier," answers the guy.
"Alright," replies the bar keeper and releases his doberman. The doberman runs
outside. Soon afterwards the tattered remains of the dog limps back, bleeding,
all over covered with wounds, and dies at the barkeeper's feet. The bar keeper
cannot understand what was going on.
"That must be a hell hound you have outside. What more...
Once there was a farmer who had a three legged pig. A man from the city came to visit the farmer and saw this pig. "Farmer Ed," quoth he, "why has that pig only got three legs?"
Said the farmer, "That there is one special pig. Last year when the river was floodin' and I was drownin, that pig saved my life. That's one special pig."
"Yes, that is a special pig," the man agreed, "but why does it have only three legs?"
"Well, the farmer said, "That is a very special pig. When my house was on fire, and my wife and daughter were inside, that pig saved their life. That's a special pig."
"Yes," the man replied, "So why has it only got three legs?"
"Well," said the farmer, "a pig that special you just can't eat all at once."
John was driving his pickup down a country lane, when suddenly
a chicken darts out into the road in front of him. He's just about to
slam on his brakes to avoid the chicken when he realizes that the chicken
has sped on ahead doing about 30 miles per hour.
Amazed, he sped up to follow, but the chicken takes off faster
and faster. Finally the chicken screeches into a turn and goes into a
small farm. As he turns to follow, John notices that the chicken has THREE
legs.
He pulls to a stop in front of the farm house, and looking around,
notices that ALL the chickens have 3 legs.
He says to the farmer "THREE-legged chickens? Thats astounding!"
The Farmer replies "Yep, I bred 'em that way-I love drumsticks."
John: "Well, tell me, how does a 3 legged chicken taste?"
Farmer: "Dunno, haven't been able to catch one yet."
A man was driving down a country road one day at 45 miles per hour when suddenly he noticed a 3-legged chicken running at the same speed beside his truck.Though he thought this odd, the man decided to speed up so he wouldn't cause an accident with the chicken.The man sped up to 55 miles per hour, but low and behold, so did the 3-legged chicken. The man then sped up to 65 miles per hour only to again be equaled in speed by the 3-legged chicken. As the man watched in amazement, the chicken suddenly made a sharp left turn and took off down a side road toward a small farm. The man quickly also made the left turn and followed the chicken to the small farm, parking out front. Looking around the man found the farmer around back in the midst of many 3-legged chickens.After greeting the farmer, the man asked him why he was raising 3-legged chickens. "Well we figure," said the farmer, "that with an average family of 3 people, only 2 can have a chicken leg with an average chicken. more...
Where do you find a no legged dog?
Right where you left him.