Leroy Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man from the Welfare department was interviewing a lady who had requested assistance and he was reviewing her form. He noted that she stated that she had three sons, but only has one name listed, "Leroy". "Yes", she replied, "All three sons are named Leroy." "Why would you do that?", inquired the government worker." It makes it much easier to get things done.", was her reply. "Leroy, time for bath." And they all would get in the bath. "Leroy, time for supper." And they all would come to the table. Amazed, the government worker then inquired how did she get personal if she wanted to talk with just one of her sons." Oh that's easy", she replied. "I just call them by their last name."

A woman walks into the downtown welfare office, trailed by 15 kids... "WOW," the social worker exclaims, "Are they ALL YOURS???" "Yep they are all mine," the flustered mumma sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before. She says, "Sit down Leroy. All the children rush to find seats.
"Well," says the social worker, then you must be here to sign up. I'll need all your children's names."
"This one's my oldest - he is Leroy." "OK, and who's this one?" Well, this one he is Leroy, also." The social worker raises an eyebrow but continues. One by one, through the oldest four, all boys, all named Leroy. Then she is introduced to the eldest girl, named Leighroy!
"All right..." says the caseworker, "I'm seeing a pattern here. Are they ALL named Leroy?" Their Momma replied, "Well, yes - it makes it easier. When it is time to get them out of bed and ready for school, I just more...

Little Leroy went to his mother demanding a new bicycle. His mother
decided he should take a look at himself and the way he acts.
She said, "Well Leroy, it isn't Christmas and we don't have the money
to just go out and buy you anything you want. So why don't you write a
letter to Jesus and pray for one instead."
After his temper tantrum his mother sent him to his room. He finally
sat down to write a letter to Jesus.
Dear Jesus:

I've been a good boy this year and would appreciate a new bicycle.
Your Friend,
Leroy

Now, Leroy knew that Jesus really knew what kind of boy he was (brat).
So he ripped up the letter and decided to give it another try.
Dear Jesus:

I've been an OK boy this year and I want a new bicycle.
Yours Truly,
Leroy
Well, Leroy knew this wasn't totally honest so he tore it up and tried
again.
Dear Jesus:

I've thought about being a good boy more...

Little Leroy came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner. His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted.
"Mom, I want a bike for my birthday."
Little Leroy was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Leroy's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday. Little Leroy, of course, thought he did.
Leroy's mother, being a Christian woman, wanted Leroy to reflect on his behavior over the last year. "Go to your room, Leroy, and think about how you have behaved this year.
Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for your birthday." Little Leroy stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God a letter.
Letter 1:
Dear God,
I have been a very good boy this year
and I would like a bike for my birthday.
I want a red one.
Your friend, Leroy
Leroy knew that wasn't more...

A filthy rich North Carolina man decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbors. He also invited Leroy, the only redneck in the neighborhood.
He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion.
Leroy was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating shrimp, oysters and BBQ and flirting with all the women.
At the height of the party, the host said, "I have a 10ft man-eating gator in my pool and I'll give a million dollars to anyone who has the nerve to jump in."
The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash and everyone turned around and saw Leroy in the pool!
Leroy was fighting the gator and kicking its ass! Leroy was jabbing the gator in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, head butts and choke holds, biting the gator on the tail and flipping the gator through the air like some kind of Judo Instructor.
The water was churning and splashing everywhere. Both Leroy and more...

Leroy is an 18 year old ninth grader who is becoming increasingly
disillusioned with the public school system. One day, Leroy got an easy homework assignment. All he had to do was put each of the following vocabulary words in a sentence. Here's what he wrote.
1. HOTEL - I gave my girlfriend da crabs and the HOTEL everybody.
2. RECTUM - I had two Cadillacs, but my ol' lady RECTUM both.
3. DISAPPOINTMENT - My parole officer tol me if I miss DISAPPOINTMENT they gonna send me back to the big house.
4. FORECLOSE - If I pay alimony this month, I'll have no money FORCLOSE.
5. CATACOMB - Don King was at the fight the other night, Man, somebody give that CATACOMB.
6. PENIS - I went to da doctor and he handed me a cup and said PENIS.
7. ISRAEL - Alonso tried to sell me a Rolex, I said Man, that looks fake. He said, No, ISRAEL.
8. UNDERMINE - There is a fine lookin' hoe livin' in the apartment UNDERMINE.
9. TRIPOLI - I was gonna buy my old lady a bra but I more...

Once again Leroy was asked to do a simple homework assignment.
Still befuddled by the whole school thing, Leroy is a trooper. He was given another set of vocabulary words to use in sentences. Here's what he handed in:
HONOR ROLL
We was playin poker on the stoop the other day, man I was HONOROLL.
PLANET
I got me some seed to grow weed, so I PLANET in the backyard.
DISMAY
I went for a blood test, the doctor pulled out a big needle. He said, "DISMAY hurt a little."
OMELETTE
Every time I start a new job, OMELETTE go after a week.
STAIRWAY
When me and my homies get high, we STAIRWAY into space.
MOBILE
I went to buy crack, I was short on cash, my man said, "Gimme one MOBILE."
DEFENSE
I ran from the cops, and hopped DEFENSE and got away.
AFRO
I got so mad at my bitch, AFRO a lamp at her.
AFTERMATH
I like to be high in school, so AFTERMATH I go to the field and smoke weed.
LOCKET
I slam the more...