Lesson Jokes / Recent Jokes

Miss Jones had been giving her second-grade students a lesson on science. She had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron.
Now it was question time, and she asked, "My name begins with the letter 'M' and I pick up things. What am I?"
A little boy on the front row proudly said, "You're a mother!"

Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel, "
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"
"It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.
"Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

Moral of the story:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
Lesson more...

As the teacher walked up to the blackboad, she noticed that someone had written the word 'penis' in very tiny letters. She turned around and scanned the room, hoping to find a guilty face. Finding none, she promptly erased the word and proceeded with her lesson.
The next day, when she entered the room, she saw the word 'penis' was again written on the board, this time in larger letters. Again she turned around, searching for the possible culprit, but found no one. Easing it from the board, she began the day's lesson.
Each morning, for about a week, she entered the classroom and found the same word written on the board and each time the letters were larger.
Finally, she walked in one day, fully expecting to find the same word on the board. Instead, she was greeted by a message that said, "The more you rub it, the bigger it gets."

A father was buying bass lessons for his son.
The 1st week the father asked him what he had learned
The son said "On my 1st lesson we learned about the E string"
The 2nd week came and after the lesson the father asked what had he learned that week
The son said "On my 2nd lesson I learned about the A string"
3rd week came by and the father said to his son "You know these are expensive lessons what have you learned this week"
The son said "I quit the lessons I already got a gig"

Miss Jones had been giving her second-grade students a lesson on science. She had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron.Now it was question time, and she asked, "My name begins with the letter' M' and I pick up things. What am I?" A little boy on the front row proudly said, "You're a mother!"

I remember a Christmas years ago when my son was a kid. I bought him a tank. It was about a hundred dollars, a lot of money in those days. It was the kind of tank you could actually get inside and ride. Instead, he played in the box it came in.
It taught me a valuable lesson. Next year he got a box, and I got a hundred dollars' worth of scotch.

As Time Goes By - A Brief History Lesson...
3050 B.C. - A Sumerian invents the wheel. Within the week, the idea is stolen and duplicated by other Sumerians, thereby establishing the business ethic for all times.
525 B.C. - The first Olympics are held, and prove similar to the modern games, except that the Russians don't try to enter a six-footer with a moustache in the women's shot put.
214 B.C. - Tens of thousands of Chinese labor for a generation to build the 1,500 mile long Great Wall of China. And after all that, it still doesn't keep the neighbor's dog out.
1 B.C. - Calendar manufacturers find themselves in total disagreement over what to call next year.
432 - St. Patrick introduces Christianity to Ireland, thereby giving the natives something interesting to fight about for the rest of their recorded history.
1297- The world's first stock exchange opens, but no one has the foresight to buy IBM or Xerox.
1456 - An English judge reviews Joan of Arc's more...