Lettuce Jokes / Recent Jokes
A very traditional elderly woman was enjoying a good game of bridge with her girlfriends one evening. "Oh, no! I have to rush home and fix dinner for my husband! He's going to be really ticked if it's not ready on time!" she exclaimed suddenly.
When she got home, she realized that she didn't have enough time to go to the supermarket, and all she had in the cupboard was a wilted lettuce leaf, an egg, and a can of cat food. In a panic, she opened the can of cat food, stirred in the egg, and garnished it with the lettuce leaf just as her husband pulled up.
She greeted her husband and then watched in horror as he sat down to his dinner. To her surprise, the husband really enjoyed his dinner. "Darling, this is the best dinner you have made for me in forty years of marriage. You can make this for me any old day."
Needless to say, every bridge night from then on, the woman made her husband the same dish. She told her bridge cronies about it and they were all more...
A guy in his final year at the secondary school, one day decided to bring his girlfriend home. But the unfortunate thing is that he shares a room with his younger brother who is just 9 yrs old. This guy brought the girl home one night, and luckly for him his brother as sleeping on the down bed, so they had to climb up to the top bed. And guess what? Things started to heat up, then the boy remembered that his brother is sleeping down, so he told the girl to say 'tomatoes when its to hard for her and lettuce when she wants to change position, and this is hat happened. 'tomatoes' 'lettuce' 'tomatoes' 'lettuce' This went on for sometime, then all of a sudden the boy's brother who was sleeping down there shoutered ''will you guys stop making sandwitches up there, you are getting mayonaise all over my face.
A very traditional elderly woman was enjoying a good game of bridge with her girlfriends one evening. "Oh, no! I have to rush home and fix dinner for my husband! He's going to really ticked if it's not ready on time!" she exclaimed suddenly.
When she got home, she realized that she didn't have enough time to go to the supermarket, and all she had in the cupboard was a wilted lettuce leaf, an egg, and a can of cat food. In a panic, she opened the can of cat food, stirred in the egg, and garnished it with the lettuce leaf just as her husband pulled up.
She greeted her husband and then watched in horror as he sat down to his dinner. To her surprise, the husband really enjoyed his dinner. "Darling, this is the best dinner you have made for me in forty years of marriage. You can make this for me any old day."
Needless to say, every bridge night from then on, the woman made her husband the same dish. She told her bridge cronies about it more...
An elderly woman was enjoying a game of bridge with her girlfriends one evening when she suddenly exclaimed, "Oh, no! I must get home and fix dinner for my husband. He'll be so annoyed if it's not ready on time!"
When she got home, she realized she didn't have enough time to go to the supermarket, and all she found in the cupboard was an egg, a wilted lettuce leaf and a can of cat food.
Panicking, she opened the can of cat food, stirred in the egg, and garnished it with the lettuce leaf just as her husband pulled up.
She greeted him and watched in horror as he sat down to eat his dinner. Much to her surprise, he really enjoyed it. "Darling, this is the best dinner you have made for me in all our years of marriage. You can make this for me any time you wish."
Needless to say, every bridge night from then on, the woman made her husband the same dish for dinner. When she told her bridge cronies about it, they were horrified. "Good grief," more...
This woman has her bridge club every Thursday night. After a peaceful game or two with the ladies, she goes home to fix her husband dinner when he gets home from work. One Thursday, she's playing a great game and she has an incredible hand when she notices the time.' Oh, no! I have to go fix my husband his dinner! He's going to be so angry if it's not ready on time.' She dashes out of her friend's house; her great hand forgotten on the table.
When she gets home, she realizes she has very little time. There is enough time to go to the supermarket and all she has in the cupboard is a wilted lettuce leaf, an egg and a can of cat food. In a panic, she opens the can of cat food, stirs in the egg, and garnishes it with the lettuce leaf, just as her husband is pulling up. She watches in horror as he sits down to his dinner, and then she realizes he is loving it!
'Mmmm, darling, this is the best dinner you have made for me in forty years of marriage. You can make this more...