Limbaugh Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day, Bill Clinton, Rush Limbaugh and Al Gore decided to walk to the Wizard of Oz's castle in Emerald City. When they got there, the Wizard asked them what they wanted the most. Limbaugh asked for a heart, Gore asked for a brain, and Clinton asked for Dorothy.

Rush Limbaugh and his driver are cruising down a country road one day in the limo. Suddenly, out of no where, a pig rushes in front of the car. The driver can't stop in time or swerve and he hits the pig, killing it instantly.

They see a farm house just ahead on the side of the road and assume that the pig belongs to the farmer who lives there. Rush says,' Pull up there and go in and tell them that you have run over their pig. Be careful that you don't get them upset. You know how they feel about their animals.'

The driver does as he is told, stopping in front of the farm house and going up to the door. He knocks on the door and is admitted inside.

Three hours later, the driver finally comes out with a smile and a wave to the farmer and his family. Rush says to the driver as he gets in,' What the hell happened to you? You've been gone for six hours!'

'Well,' the driver says,' I went in and told them. The farmer ushered me to a chair and more...

Twas the night before Christmas and throughout the White House,
Al Gore was eyeing Hillary, peering into her blouse.
The Secret Service were guarding the premises with care,
for a whole host of Democrats were vacationing there.
As Chelsea was nestled all snug in her bed,
dirty thoughts swam around Mr. Kennedy's head.
And Bill in his sportcoat; a heavy gray tweed,
had just fried his brain with some Mexican weed.
When out in the garden came a plethora of noise,
all drunken and rowdy: 'twas Newt and the boys!
Bill jumped to the window, and tore open the sash,
"It's a raid boys!" he cried, "Quick, go hide my stash!"
The pot in his blood and the moon on the snow,
gave a psychedelic haze to the objects below.
When what to Bill's frantic eyes should appear, but a slew
of Republicans and a keg of ice beer.
With a big House leader, all lively and fat:
He knew it was Newt, the proponent of GATT!
As more...

Twas the night before Christmas and throughout the White House, Al Gore was eyeing Hillary, peering into her blouse.The Secret Service were guarding the premises with care, for a whole host of Democrats were vacationing there.As Chelsea was nestled all snug in her bed, dirty thoughts swam around Mr. Kennedy's head.And Bill in his sportcoat; a heavy gray tweed, had just fried his brain with some Mexican weed.When out in the garden came a plethora of noise, all drunken and rowdy: 'twas Newt and the boys! Bill jumped to the window, and tore open the sash,"It's a raid boys!" he cried, "Quick, go hide my stash!"The pot in his blood and the moon on the snow, gave a psychedelic haze to the objects below.When what to Bill's frantic eyes should appear, but a slew of Republicans and a keg of ice beer.With a big House leader, all lively and fat:He knew it was Newt, the proponent of GATT! As viscous as vipers, the Republicans came, and Bill recognized them and called them by more...

Rush Limbaugh is in talks to purchase the Rams, because Limbaugh has plenty of experience showing blind allegiance to a failed franchise. Actually, Limbaugh is buying the Rams because the St. Louis arch reminds him of McDonald's.