Lobsters Jokes / Recent Jokes
I'd rather have lobsters on my piano than crabs on my organ
After a day fishing in the ocean a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying two lobsters in a bucket. He is approached by the Game Warden who asks him for his fishing license.
The fisherman says to the warden, "I did not catch these lobsters, they are my pets. Every day I come done to the water and whistle and these lobsters jump out and I take them for a walk only to return them at the end of the day."
The warden, not believing him, reminds him that it is illegal to fish without a license.
The fisherman turns to the warden and says, "If you don't believe me then watch," as he throws the lobsters back into the water.
The warden says, "Now whistle to your lobsters and show me that they will come out of the water."
The fisherman turns to the warden and says, "What lobsters?"
After a day of ocean fishing, a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying a bucket which contains two lobsters. He's approached by the Game Warden who asks to see his fishing license.
"Oh, I didn't catch these lobsters," the man says, "they're my pets. I come down to the water every day and whistle and these lobsters jump out. Then, I take them for a walk and return them at the end of the day."
The warden, not believing a word the man said, reminds him that it is illegal to fish without a license. The fisherman turns to the warden and says, "If you don't believe me, then watch," as he throws the lobsters back into the water.
"Ok, now whistle to your lobsters and show me that they will come out of the water," instructs the warden.
The fisherman turns to the warden with a sly grin and says, "What lobsters?"
Declan the humble crab and Kate the Lobster Princess were madly, deeply and passionately in Love. For months they enjoyed an idyllic relationship until one day Kate scuttled over to Declan in tears.
"We can't see each other anymore...." she sobbed.
"Why?" gasped Declan.
"Daddy says crabs are too common," she wailed. "He claims you, a mere crab, and a poor one at that, are the lowest class of crustacean... and that no daughter of his will marry someone who can only walk sideways."
Declan was shattered, and scuttled sidewards away into the darkness and to drink himself into a filthy state of aquatic oblivion. That night, the great Lobster Ball was taking place. Lobsters came from far and wide, dancing and merry making, but the lobster Princess refused to join in, choosing instead to sit by her father's side, inconsolable.
Suddenly the doors burst open, and Declan the crab strode in. The Lobsters all stopped their dancing, more...