Logic Jokes / Recent Jokes
Here is the report on our SCIENTIFIC CORRECTNESS SURVEY. The question was:
Is faster-than-light travel possible?
This survey drew an onslaught of opinions.
The vote was a landslide (72%) for the YES side. Thus, another controversy is put to rest. Henceforth, it will be scientifically correct to believe that faster-than-light travel is possible.
Opinions ranged from positive to negative, and from simple ("Yes") to hideously complex. While the results are interesting, the variety of methods used to obtain them is dazzling.
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Some readers used fuzzy logic:
I have never really believed that light actually goes at the speed of light. Have we any proof? I worked out that it should go at root two times the speed of light (c) making the constant itself irrelevant.
-Graeme Winter
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Other readers used higher-level fuzzy logic:
This is an interesting question, coincidentally I was driving through a Minnesota blizzard last week when my more...
One day there is a well-educated man sitting in a redneck bar reading a book. A Redneck happens to wander over to him and asks, "Whatcha there reading Mister?"
The educated man replies, "It's a book about logic".
Confused, the redneck replies "Logic? What's logic?"
The educated man explains to the man, "Logic is the ability to come to a conclusion knowing only one fact. For example, do you own a weed whacker?"
The Redneck shouts, "Hell yeah I own a weed whacker!"
So the educated man continues, "Well, if you have a weed whacker, and I know you have a weed whacker, I know you have a lawn. If I know you have a lawn I know you have a house. If you have a house, demographically speaking I can deduce that you are a white male, 35-50 yrs old, and a heterosexual. Therefore, by knowing that you have a weed whacker I know that you are straight. Am I correct?"
The redneck responds flabbergasted "Hell yeah more...
I think sex is better than logic, but I can't prove it.
A third-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson in logic.
"Here is the situation," she said. "A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?"
A little girl raised her hand and said, "To draw out all his savings?"
A college student was in a philosophy class which had a discussion about God's existence. The professor presented the following logic:
"Has anyone in this class heard God?" Nobody spoke.
"Has anyone in this class touched God?" Again, nobody spoke.
"Has anyone in this class seen God?"
When nobody spoke for the third time, he simply stated, "Then there is no God."
One student thought for a second, and then asked for permission to reply. Curious to hear this bold student's response, the professor granted it, and the student stood up and asked the following questions of his classmates:
"Has anyone in this class heard our professor's brain?" Silence.
"Has anyone in this class touched our professor's brain?" Absolute silence.
"Has anyone in this class seen our professor's brain?"
When nobody in the class dared to speak, the student concluded, "Then, according to our professor's more...
A college student was in a philosophy class which had a discussion about Gods existence. The professor presented the following logic:"Has anyone in this class heard God?" Nobody spoke."Has anyone in this class touched God?" Again, nobody spoke."Has anyone in this class seen God?" When nobody spoke for the third time, he simply stated, "Then there is no God."One student thought for a second, and then asked for permission to reply. Curious to hear this bold students response, the professor granted it, and the student stood up and asked the following questions of his classmates:"Has anyone in this class heard our professors brain?" Silence."Has anyone in this class touched our professors brain?" Silence."Has anyone in this class seen our professors brain?" When nobody in the class dared to speak, the student concluded, "Then, according to our professor s logic, it must be true that our professor has no more...