Attempting Jokes

Dear (IT) Technical Support:
I am desperate for some help.
I recently upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that the
new program began unexpected child processing and also took up a lot of
space and valuable resources. This wasn't mentioned in the product
brochure.
In addition Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and
launches during system initialisation where it monitors all other
system activity.
Applications such as Boys Night Out 2.5, and Golf 5.3 no longer run
and crash the system whenever selected. Attempting to operate Saturday
Rugby 6.3 always fails but Saturday Shopping 7.1 runs instead. I cannot
seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background whilst attempting to run any of
my favourite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend
7.0 but uninstall doesn't work on this program.
Can you please help.
Joe
Dear Joe,
This is a very common problem resulting from a more...

The Latest Report on Windows98: New Error Codes Assigned
Winerr 000 - Unexpected Intelligent User Detected; Please Reload Everything Winerr 001 - Intimidation Failed; Attempting to Crash Repeatedly Winerr 002 - Erroneous Error; No Error Occurred (Yet) Winerr 003 - RAM Depleted; Annex Japan (Y/N)? Winerr 004 - Deluxe Error. Please Send $75 to Upgrade Your Error Winerr 005 - Long File Name Error; Tape Erased to Make Room for Filename Winerr 006 - Insufficient RAM to Crash Properly; Attempting Fake Crash Winerr 007 - Alphanumeric Sequence "OS2" Prohibited Winerr 008 - This License Has Expired; Please Purchase Another Copy Winerr 009 - Error Buffer Overflow; Too Many Errors Winerr 00A - Non-Microsoft Application Encountered Winerr 00B - Push Error; Removing Files to Make Room for Advertisement Winerr 00C - Windows Loaded Correctly This Time Winerr 00D - User Error; Lemming Not Found Winerr 00E - Open Standard Encountered; Attempting to Redmondize Winerr 00F - Reserved for more...

Dear Tech Support:
I am desperate for some help. I recently upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that the new program began unexpected child processing and also took up a lot of space and valuable resources. This wasn't mentioned in the product brochure.
In addition Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialisation where it monitors all other system activity.
Applications such as Boys Night Out 2.5, and Golf 5.3 no longer run and crash the system whenever selected. Attempting to operate Sunday Football 6.3 always fails but Saturday Shopping 7.1 runs instead. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background whilst attempting to run any of my favourite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 but de-install doesn't work on this program.
Can you please help!
Joe.
Dear Joe,
This is a very common problem resulting from a basic misunderstanding.
Many men upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 more...

The Latest Report on Windows98: New Error Codes AssignedWinerr 000 - Unexpected Intelligent User Detected; Please Reload Everything Winerr 001 - Intimidation Failed; Attempting to Crash Repeatedly Winerr 002 - Erroneous Error; No Error Occurred (Yet) Winerr 003 - RAM Depleted; Annex Japan (Y/N)? Winerr 004 - Deluxe Error. Please Send $75 to Upgrade Your Error Winerr 005 - Long File Name Error; Tape Erased to Make Room for Filename Winerr 006 - Insufficient RAM to Crash Properly; Attempting Fake Crash Winerr 007 - Alphanumeric Sequence "OS2" Prohibited Winerr 008 - This License Has Expired; Please Purchase Another Copy Winerr 009 - Error Buffer Overflow; Too Many Errors Winerr 00A - Non-Microsoft Application Encountered Winerr 00B - Push Error; Removing Files to Make Room for Advertisement Winerr 00C - Windows Loaded Correctly This Time Winerr 00D - User Error; Lemming Not Found Winerr 00E - Open Standard Encountered; Attempting to Redmondize Winerr 00F - Reserved for Future more...

YOU ARE ATTEMPTING TO INSTALL WINDOWS XP, ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO CONTINUE?

Yes.

ARE YOU REALLY SURE?

Yes.

ARE YOU REALLY REALLY SURE?

*****yes!******

OK, THEN. JUST SO YOU KNOW, WE'RE REQUIRED TO ASK YOU THAT NOW. IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT FOR BEING A PICKY CONSUMER AND SUPPORTING THAT WHOLE "ANTI-TRUST" NONSENSE. INGRATE.

Just get on with it.

ATTEMPTING TO INSTALL WINDOWS XP. FIRST WE NEED TO CHECK YOUR SYSTEM FOR COMPATIBILITY. THIS COULD TAKE SEVERAL DAYS.

Groan.

THE INSTALL PROGRAM HAS DETECTED SEVERAL POSSIBLE PROBLEMS AND WILL NOT LET YOU INSTALL XP.

Problems? What problems?

THE VIDEO CARD YOU ARE USING APPARENTLY DOES NOT WORK WITH THE MOTHERBOARD.

But I'm using it at this very moment.

THAT IS IRRELEVANT.

But if the video card isn't working with the mother board then I can't very well see this warning message more...