Luck Jokes / Recent Jokes
Kanjibhai and Ramjibhai were getting ready for the company awards dinner for the best salesman. Kanjibhai was in the running to win an award that evening and wanted to make sure he looked his best when he claimed his prize. He felt his luck was with him and was sure to win.
He stood in front of the mirror to fix his tie but the mirror was crooked, so he reached over to straighten it out and it came crashing down on the floor.
"Oh no," said Kanjibhai. "Now I am going to have seven years bad luck."
"Nonsense," said Ramjibhai. My uncle once broke a mirror and he didn't have seven years bad luck."
"Really?" said Kanjibhai, feeling much better knowing that.
"Yeah really," said Ramjibhai. "He died that day."
The woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. And You know what?" What dear?" She gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth. "I'm beginning to think you're bad luck."
One day I recieved a letter from grandma...
The other day I went up to a local Christian bookstore and saw a "honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting, so I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper. Boy, I'm glad I did! What an uplifting experience followed!
I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good He is and I didn't notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed! I found that LOTS of people love Jesus!
While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, "For the love of GOD! GO! GO! Jesus Christ, GO!" What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus! Everyone started honking! I just more...
A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to
kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and
told him, "I've kidnapped you."
She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning,
put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide
on the north side of the playground.
Signed, A Blonde."
The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to
show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough,
a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The Blonde opened the bag and
found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow
Blonde?"
I heard this many years ago in the Broadway show "Suger Babies."
Joe, the fisherman, had driven by the lake many times and had seen
some other anglers about, so he decided to give his luck a try. On
his first day of fishing he had no luck at all but noticed that
another fisherman near him that was scooping in one after another.
He had to know The Secret.
"Excuse me sir, but would you mind telling me what sort of bait you
are using?" he asked.
The other man looked around a bit embarrassed. "Well, I am a surgeon,
and quite by accident I found that human tonsil works very well."
Joe thanked the man, thought about what sort of bait to try next
time, and left.
The next day, Joe returned to the lake, tried a different bait and
still had no luck. Just as the day before, there was yet a
different man realing in fish after fish.
"Excuse me," asked Joe, "but could you suggest a bait that I more...
Dear Friend,
The other day I went up to a local Christian bookstore and saw a "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting, so I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.
Boy, I'm glad I did! What an uplifting experience followed!
I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good He is...and I didn't notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed! I found that LOTS of people love Jesus!
While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, "For the love of GOD! GO! GO! Jesus Christ, GO!"
What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus! Everyone started honking! I just leaned out of my window and started waving more...