Luck Jokes / Recent Jokes

When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the
moon, he not only gave his famous "One Small Step for Man, One
Giant Leap for Mankind" statement, but followed it by several
remarks - usual COM traffic between him, the other astronauts and
Mission Control. Before he re-entered the lander, he made the
enigmatic remark "Good luck, Mr. Gorsky."
Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning
some rival Soviet Cosmonaut. However upon checking, there was no
Gorsky in either the Russian nor American space programs.
Over the years, many people have questioned him as to what the
"Good luck, Mr. Gorsky" statement meant. On July 5 1995, in Tampa
Bay, FL, while answering questibrought up the 26 year old question to Armstrong. He finally
responded. It seems that Mr. Gorsky had died and so Armstrong felt
he could answer the question.
When he was a kid, Neil was playing more...

The other day I went up to a local Christian bookstore and saw a "Honk If You Love Jesus" bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, so I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.
Boy, I'm glad I did! What an uplifting experience followed!
I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good He is. I didn't notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed! I found that LOTS of people love Jesus!
While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed,
"For the love of GOD! GO! GO! GO!"
What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus! Everyone started honking! I just leaned out of my window and started waving and smiling at all these loving people. I even honked my horn a few more...

A man who had been shipwrecked on a desert island for several years is starting to feel the effects of being starved of sex for so long. However, the only living creatures on the island are a dog and a pig. One day, the man decides he's had enough and thinks to himself that it has to be the pig. But every time he approaches the sow for his moment of passion the dog bites the man's backside. This continues for several days and the man is beginning to get frustrated. But one morning, the man's luck changes: out to sea he notices a beautiful young woman on the point of drowning. He swims over, drags her out on to the beach and gives her the kiss of life. The woman comes to and is very grateful. "Thank you so much," she says. "I will do anything for you, and I mean absolutely anything." The man can't believe his luck and quickly replies, "You wouldn't mind taking that bloody dog for a walk would you?"

Kanjibhai and Ramjibhai were getting ready for the company awards dinner for the best salesman. Kanjibhai was in the running to win an award that evening and wanted to make sure he looked his best when he claimed his prize. He felt his luck was with him and was sure to win.

He stood in front of the mirror to fix his tie but the mirror was crooked, so he reached over to straighten it out and it came crashing down on the floor. "Oh no," said Kanjibhai. "Now I am going to have seven years bad luck."

"Nonsense," said Ramjibhai. My uncle once broke a mirror and he didn't have seven years bad luck."

"Really?" said Kanjibhai, feeling much better knowing that.

"Yeah really," said Ramjibhai. "He died that day."

A Husband's Moment Of Realization A Woman's Husband Had Been Slipping In And Out Of A Coma For Several Months, Yet She Stayed
By His Bedside Every Single Day. When He Came To, He Motioned For Her To Come Nearer. As She Sat By Him, He Said, "You Know
What? You Have Been With Me All Through The Bad Times. When I Got Fired, You Were There To Support Me. When My Business
Failed, You Were There. When I Got Shot, You Were By Myside. When We Lost The House, You Gave Me Support. When My Health
Started Failing, You Were Still By My Side... You Know What?" "What Dear?" She Asked Gently. "I Think You Bring Me Bad
Luck."

A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
So she went to a playground, grabbed a kid, and took him behind a tree.' I've kidnapped you!', said the blonde and then proceeded to write a note saying,' I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10, 000 in a paper bag and place it under the pecan tree next to the playground. Signed, A Blonde.'
The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show his parents.
The next morning the blonde checked under the tree and surely enough, a paper bag was sitting there. The Blonde opened the bag and found the $10, 000 with a note that said,' How could you do this to a fellow blonde?'

Grandma writes:

The other day I went to the local religious book store where I saw a "Honk if you really love Jesus" bumper sticker. I bought it and put it on the back bumper of my car and I'm really glad I did. What an uplifting experience followed.

I was stopped at the light of a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord, and didn't notice that the light had changed. That bumper sticker really worked! I found lots of people who love Jesus. Why, the guy behind me started to honk like crazy. He must really love the Lord because pretty soon he leaned out his window and yelled, "Jesus Christ!" as loud as he could.

Why, it was like a football game with him shouting, "Go, Jesus Christ, Go"! Everyone else started honking too, so I leaned out my window and waved and smiled to all those loving people. There must have been a guy from Florida back there because I could hear him yelling something about a sunny beach, more...