Luck Jokes / Recent Jokes
Love Jesus by Dennis DiPasquale The other day I went to the local religious book store, where I saw a HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS bumper sticker. I bought it and put it on the back bumper of my car, and I'm really glad I did. What an uplifting experience followed. I was stopped at the light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord, and didn't notice that the light had changed. That bumper sticker really worked! I found lots of people who love Jesus. Why, the guy behind me started to honk like crazy. He must REALLY love the lord because pretty soon, he leaned out his window and yelled, "Jesus Christ!!" as loud as he could. It was like a football game with him shouting, "GO JESUS CHRIST, GO!!!" Everyone else started honking, too, so I leaned out my window and waved and smiled to all of those loving people. There must have been a guy from Florida back there because I could hear him yelling something about a sunny beach, and saw him waving in a funny way more...
Good luck turns into bad luck when you call the credit card company to tell them they made a mistake on your bill... and they agree because they didn't charge you enough.
Good luck turns into bad luck when the cutest boy rings you up... then apologies because he dialed the wrong number.
The batsman was out first ball. On the long walk back to the pavilion he had to pass the incoming batsman, a supercilious rival.
'Hard luck, old man,' smirked the newcomer.
'Yes. It's a shame I had to be right in the middle of a hat trick.
A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi were chatting one day when the conversation turned to a discussion of job descriptions and promotion.
"What do you have to look forward to in way of a promotion in your job?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, I'm next in line for the Monsignor's job." replied the Priest.
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, next I can become Arch-Bishop." said the Priest.
"Yes, and then?" asked the Rabbi.
"If I work real hard and do a good job as Arch-Bishop, it's possible for me to become a full Bishop." said the Priest.
"O. K., then what?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest, begining to get a bit exasperated replied, "With some luck and real hard work, maybe I can become a Cardinal."
"And then?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest is really starting to get mad now and replies, "With more...
Dear Gladys,
As I was browsing through a local Christian bookstore, I spotted a "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day since I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting, so I purchased the sticker and put it on my bumper. Boy, am I glad I did! What an uplifting experience followed!
I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, lost in thought about the Lord and how good He is... and I failed to notice that the light had changed. It's a good thing that someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I never would have noticed. I found that there are a LOT of people who love Jesus.
While I was sitting there, the guy behind me started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, "For the love of GOD! GO! GO! Jesus Christ, GO!"
What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus! Suddenly, everyone started honking! I just leaned more...
Some people just seem to have a lot of luck. A friend of mine is one of those card players who can almost always draw whatever he needs to win a hand in poker, but loses big time at the races.
I asked him about this once and he replied, "Well. .. they won't let me shuffle the horses."