Madras Jokes / Recent Jokes

1. Her mother looks down at you because you didn't study in IIT or Madras / Anna University. 2. Her father starts or ends every conversation with ". .. I say..." 3. She shudders if you use four letter words. 4. She has long hair, neatly oiled and braided (The Dubai based Oil Well Company will negotiate with her on a 25 year contract to extract coconut oil from her hair.) 5. She uses the word' Super' as her only superlative. 6. Her name is another name for a Goddess or a flower. 7. Her first name is longer than your first name, middle name and surname combined (unless you are from Andhra) 8. When she mixes milk/curd and rice you are never sure whether it is for the dog or for herself. 9. For weddings, she sports a mini jasmine garden on her head and wears silk saris in the Madras heat without looking too uncomfortable while you are melting in your singlet. 10. Her favourite cricketer is Krishnamachari Srikkanth. 11. Her favourite food is dosa though she has tried North Indian more...

Steinberg and Fleisher, partners in the garment industry had just suffered through their worst season ever. Ten thousand madras sports coats were hanging on the rack unsold, and bankruptcy was looming closer.

Out of the blue, in walked a buyer from Australia. "I say there," he began, "you boys wouldn't have any madras sports coats, would you? I've been looking for them everywhere."

Steinberg said there MIGHT be a few left, and soon a deal was made whereby the ten thousand jackets would be shipped to Australia at a handsome profit.

"There is one thing though," said the Australian buyer. "For an order this large, I'll have to get a confirmation from my home office. I don't anticipate any problem, and unless I send you a telegram by this Friday, the deal goes through as planned."

Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday passed slowly, with the partners nervously waiting to see if the Australian would change his mind. more...

A sardar from Delhi had an old car which had run for over a
1, 00, 000 kilometres. He wanted to sell it, but was not getting a
good price because of its excess mileage.
He approached a Madrasi friend of his and asked for help.
The Madrasi gave him an address in Chennai (Madras) and asked
him to visit a mechanic there. The mechanic would adjust the
meter so that it shows only 30, 000 kilometres.
The sardar thanked him and left for Madras. For a few days,
the Madrasi didn't see the sardar. He assumed that the sardar
would have sold the car.
A few weeks later, the sardar came to see the Madrasi in
the same car. The Madrasi was surprised and asked - "What
happened? Why have you not sold your car yet?"
The sardar replied - "Why should I? It has run for only 30, 000 kilometres."

Once Santa Asked Banta Why Madras' Name Changed To Chennai. Banta Said That It Suits Their Outfit. Santa Asked How. Then The Banta Said That Because In Madras Many People Don't Wear A Pant, They All Wear A Lungi With No Chain. So Madras Was Given This Name Because People Wear Lungi With Chain Nahi (Chennai).

Schwartz and Feldman, partners in the garment industry, had just suffered through their worst season ever. Eight thousand madras sports coats were hanging on the rack unsold, and bankruptcy was looming closer each day.
Out of the blue, in walked a buyer from Australia. "I say there," he began, "you boys wouldn't happen to have any madras sports coats, would you? I've been looking for them everywhere."
Schwartz said there MIGHT be a few left, and soon a deal was made whereby the eight thousand jackets would be shipped to Australia at a handsome profit.
"There is one thing though," said the Australian buyer. "For an order this large, I'll have to get a confirmation from my home office. I don't anticipate any problem, and unless I send you a telegram by this Friday, the deal goes through as planned."
Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday passed slowly, with the partners nervously waiting to see if the Australian would change his mind. more...