Maid Jokes / Recent Jokes

one DAY this boy asked his dad " what is politics?" his dad replied "ok ill put it this way: im the president /your mom is the vice president /the maid is the world/ and your the people"....so the boy goes tobed thinking about what his dad had said.. he woke up i the middle of the night and had to go to the batheroom he went into his parents room but his mom is asleep so he walks to the maids room but the door is locked he peeks in the key hole and sees his dad in bed with the maid... SO THE BOY GOES TO BED WITH OUT GOING TO THE BATHEROOM THE NEXT MORNING HIS DAD ASKS" SO DID YOU THINK ABOUT WHAT I SAID" THE BOY REPLIES " YEP" DAD SAYS "TELL ME "THE BOY SAYS"WELL I FOUND OUT THAT THE PRESIDENT IS FUCKING THE WORLD WHILE THE VICE PRESIDENT IS ASLEEP, AND THE PEOPLE ARE IN DEEP SHIT.

A son asks his father, "What can you tell me about politics? I have to learn about it for school tomorrow." The father thought some and said, "OK, son, the best way I can describe politics is to use an analogy. Let`s say that I`m a capitalist because I`m the breadwinner. Your mother will be the government because she controls everything, our maid will be the working class because she works for us, you will be the people because you answer to us, and your baby brother will be the future. Does that help any?" The little boy said, "Well, Dad, I don`t know, but I`ll think about what you said."

Later that night, after everyone had gone to bed, the little boy was awaken by his baby brother`s crying. Upon further investigation, he found a dirty diaper. So, he went down the hall to his parent`s bedroom and found his father`s side of the bed empty and his mother wouldn`t wake up. Then he saw a light on in the guest room down the hall, and when he more...

Son:"Dad, I have to do a special report for school. Can I ask you a question?"
Father: "Sure son. What's the question?"
Son: "What is politics?"
Father: "Well, let's take our home for example. I am the wage earner, so let's call me "Capitalism". Your mother is the administrator of money, so we'll call her "Government". We take care of your needs, so we'll call you "The People". We'll call the maid "The Working Class", and your baby brothe we can call "The Future".
"Do you understand, Son?"
Son: "I'm not really sure, Dad. I'll have to think about it".
That night, awakened by his baby brother's crying, the boy went to see what was wrong. Discovering that the baby had seriously soiled his diaper, the boy went to his parent's room and found his mother sound asleep. He went to the maid's room, where, peeking through the keyhole, he saw his father in bed more...

A guy dials his home and a strange woman answers.

The guy says, "Who is this?"

"This is the maid," answers the woman.

"We don`t have a maid," says the man.

The woman says, "I was hired this morning by the woman of the house."

The man says, "Well, this is her husband. Is she there?"

The woman replies, "She is upstairs in the bed room with someone who I figured was her husband."

The guy is fuming and says to the maid, "Listen, would you like to make 50, 000?"

The maid asks, "What will I have to do?"

The man tells her, "I want you to get my gun from the desk, and shoot the ***** and the jerk she`s with."

The maid puts the phone down; the man hears footsteps and then two gun shots.

The maid comes back to the phone, "What do I do with the bodies?"


The man more...

President Clinton to maid: Mam, can you do something about Hillarys room. She complains that its the ugliest room in the White House. Maid: Yes, Mr. President--Ill remove the mirrors right away.

Attached is some correspondence which actually occurred between a
London hotel's staff and one of its guests. The London hotel
involved submitted this to the Sunday Times. No name was mentioned.
WHAT TO DO WITH ALL THOSE "FREE" SOAPS WHEN TRAVELLING
Dear Maid,
Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my
bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove
the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest
and another three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way. Thank
you,
S. Berman
Dear Room 635,
I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday,
from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap
dish as you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your
way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should
change your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which my
instructions from the more...

Son: Dad, I have a special report for school. Can I ask you a question

Dad: Sure son, what's the question?

Son: What is politics?

Dad: Well son, let's take are home for an example. I am the wage earner, so let's call me, the management. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so let's call her, the government. We take care of you and your needs, so let's call you, the people. We'll call the maid, the working class and your baby brother, the future. Understand?

Son: I'm not really sure dad, I'll have to think about it.

That night, the boy is awakened by his baby brother's crying, so he went to see what was wrong. Discovering that the baby had a heavily soiled diaper, the boy went to his parent's room and found his mother fast asleep. He went to the maid's room, where, peeking through the keyhole, he saw his father in bed with the maid. The boy's knocking was totally unheard. The boy went back to his room and went to more...