Mail Jokes / Recent Jokes
Stop neglecting children; at least learn their names and birthdays.
Stop circulating the "Good Times Virus" and "Join the Crew" e-mail.
Read all of the mail from all of the lists I have subscribed to.
Limit my subscriptions of lists to a maximum of fifty.
Back-up 4 gig hard drive weekly; well, maybe at least monthly.
Not rush to any ftp site as soon as I hear of a new Beta.
Insist that all "ten best" lists be strictly limited to ten.
Not buy magazines with AOL disks just to get another 1.44MB disk.
Answer Snail Mail with the same enthusiasm & promptness as e-mail.
Spend less than two hours a day on the Web; on new sites anyway.
Try the e-mail version of the Mrs. Fields cookie recipe.
Promise when I hear "Where do you want to go today?", I won't laugh. (Well, maybe not!)
Think of a password other than "password" to use on web sites.
Never "throw" another snowball via e-mail; more...
A neighbour noticed the blonde kept going to her mailbox well before it was time for the mailman to make his rounds. Finally he walked over to her and asked if she was expecting a special delivery.
"No," replied the blonde, "but my computer keeps telling me I have mail."
Q: How many internet mail list subscribers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Exactly five hundred.
1 to change the light bulb and to post to the mail list that the light bulb has been changed.
7 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently or to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.
17 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.
21 to flame the spell checkers.
49 to write to the list administrator complaining about the light bulb discussion and its inappropriateness to this mail list.
20 to correct spelling in the spelling/grammar flames.
32 to post that this list is not about light bulbs and to please take this email exchange to alt. lite. bulb.
69 to demand that cross posting to alt. grammar, alt. spelling and alt. punctuation about changing light bulbs be stopped.
41 to defend the posting to this list saying that we more...
The start of the new school term always brings out the most interesting questions for computer consultants on campus. The predominant questions this term pertain to "getting into" E-mail and how to access the "Information Highway."An obviously distraught student came into the consulting office yesterday complaining that his E-mail wasn't working. His attempts to get tickets for an on-campus concert kept resulting in returned mail.He showed me the mail address he was attempting to reach. I asked him where he obtained such an unusual mail address.He replied, "The sign advertising the concert said,' begins@7:30PM'."
(A quick check list for those who need to make contact.] 1. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies and children's art. We don't have a life, and we find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse of yours. 2. Don't write anything down. Ever. We can play back the error messages from here. 3. When an I.T. person says he's coming right over, go for coffee. That way you won't be there when we need your password. It's nothing for us to remember 700 screen saver passwords. 4. When you call the help desk, state what you want, not what's keeping you from getting it. We don't need to know that you can't get into your mail because your computer won't power on at all. 5. When I.T. support sends you an E-Mail with high importance, delete it at once. We're just testing. 6. When an I.T. person is eating lunch at his desk, walk right in and spill your guts right out. We more...
Q: Why did the witch's mail rattle? A: It was a chain letter.