Makers Jokes / Recent Jokes

A new aid to rapid-almost magical-learning has made its appearance.
Indications are that if it catches on all the electronic gadgets will
be so much junk.
The new device is known as Built-in Orderly Organized Knowledge. The
makers generally call it by its initials, BOOK(tm).
Many advantages are claimed over the old-style learning and teaching
aids on which most people are brought up nowadays. It has no wires, no
electric circuit to break down. No connection is needed to an electricity
power point. It is made entirely without mechanical parts to go wrong or need
replacement.
Anyone can use BOOK(tm), even children, and it fits comfortably into the
hands. It can be conveniently used sitting in an armchair by the fire.
How does this revoluntionary, unbelievably easy invention work?
Basically BOOK(tm) consists only of a large number of paper sheets.
These may run to hundreds where BOOK(tm) covers a lengthy program of
information. more...

When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

The National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged they had, covertly, funded a project with U. S. auto makers for the past 5 years. The auto makers were installing black box voice recorders in four-wheel drive pickup trucks and SUVs in an effort to determine the circumstances of fatal accidents in the last 15 seconds before the crash.

They were surprised to find in 44 of the 50 states the recorded last words of drivers in 61. 2 percent of fatal crashes were,? Oh Shit!?

Only the states of Oklahoma, Tennessee, Missouri, Arkansas, Illinois, Oregon, and Texas were different, where 89. 3 percent of the final words were:? Hold my beer. I? m gonna try somethin.?

The Makers of Viagra are announcing that they havedeveloped a pill to increase lubrication in females. The pill will be called Niagra.

The National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged they had covertly funded a project with the U. S. auto makers for the past five years, whereby the auto makers were installing black boxes in four-wheel drive pickup trucks in an effort to determine, in fatal accidents, the circumstances in the last 15 seconds before the crash.

They were surprised to find in 49 of the 50 states the last words of drivers in 61. 2 percent of fatal crashes were, "Oh, Shit!"

Only the state of Alabama was different, where 96. 4 percent of the final words were -
"Hey Y'all, hold my beer and watch this!"

AUSTIN, Texas - The exasperated help-line caller said she couldn't get her new Dell computer to turn on. Jay Ablinger, a Dell Computer Corp. technician, made sure the computer was plugged in and then asked the woman what happened when she pushed the power button."I've pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens," the woman replied. "Foot pedal?" the technician asked. "Yes," the woman said, "this little white foot pedal with the on switch." The "foot pedal," it turned out, was the computer's mouse, a hand-operated device that helps to control the computer's operation.Personal-computer makers are discovering that it's still a low-tech world out there. While they are finally having great success selling PCs to households, they now have to deal with people to whom monitors and disk drives are as foreign as another language."It is rather mystifying to get this nice, beautiful machine and not know anything about it," more...