Malayalee Jokes / Recent Jokes

To meet an Englishman you should go to his castle, to meet a Mallu you should go to his (regular)kaLLu shaap(toddy bar)!

Why was the Marxist leader dumbstruck on arrival at US airport?
Boy, who said Communism is not prevalent in this part of the world, there is Arri-val everywhere.

What processor does a Mallu have in his PC?
A Pendium

What does a Mallu do to run for elections in Hongkong?
Change his name from Thankachan to Than Ka Chan.

What does a Mallu do to run for elections in England?
Change his name from Vaideswaran to Vaides Waran.

What will a mallu reply when asked "Are there any mosquitoes in your house?
Plendy

Why did the Malayalee crossed the road?
Simbly.

How does a malayalee spell the word' MOON'?
Yem wo yettanudherwo yen-uh!

Why do they require 5 people for a Malayalee funeral?
Four to carry the coffin, one to carry the two-in-one.

How does a Malayalee travel in Chembur?
BY ODO

Where did the malayalee study?
In the more...

mallu parents keep all tatsy food in refrigerator and give u "kanji" and "kappa"
Khiladi

Once a cowboy and a mallu pick up a quarrel. The cowboy points a gun at the mallu and says "Yo man. yore ded meat... kiss yore a## bye". Mallu replys - "What rubbish you are toking(talking)... if you vant to fiyt(fight) vith me you zimbly come to my gariage(garage) no... i will hit on your head with a hyammer... and also i think you dond hyave the bolls to pull the trigger..." That was it, the cowboy had enough. He pulled the trigger but to his own head....

NO OFFENCE MEAN.........
Here is the reason. Why Newton Commited Suicide.....
Once, Newton came to India and watched a few Tamil movies that had his
head spinning. He was convinced that all his logic and laws in
physics
were just a huge pile of junk and apologized for everything he had
done.
In the movie of Rajanikanth, Newton was confused to such an extent
that
he went paranoid. Here are a few scenes
1) Rajanikanth has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can't
be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great
Rajanikanth is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet
passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is
cured! Long Live Rajanikanth!
2) In another movie, Rajanikanth is confronted with 3 gangsters.
Rajanikanth has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife.
Guess, what he does?
He throws the knife at the middle more...

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Rajnikant.
Rajnikant has counted to infinity - twice!
When Rajnikant does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up. He's pushing the earth down.
Rajnikant is so fast. He can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Rajnikant doesn't wear a watch, he decides what time it is.
Rajnikant gave Mona Lisa that smile.
Rajnikant can't slam a revolving door.
Rajnikant's house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
Rajnikant grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his rage.
If you Google search' Rajnikant getting kicked', you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
It takes Rajnikant 20 minutes to watch 60 minutes.
The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda square, until Rajnikant kicked one of the corners off.
There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq; Rajnikant lives in Chennai.
Rajnikant once more...

How true it is!
In the middle of the table is a round food tray with five kinds of fruits on it. They are:
a. Apple
b. Banana
c. Strawberry
d. Peach
e. Orange
Which fruit will you choose? Please think VERY carefully and don't
rush into it. This is great, I was astounded! Your choice reveals a
lot about you!
Test results: Please SCROLL DOWN
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wait really good
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dont more...