Malaysia Jokes

NATIONAL FLOWER: Bunga Raya (Hibiscus). NATIONAL CAR: Proton. 2nd NATIONAL CAR: Perodua Kancil. 3rd NATIONAL CAR: Perodua Tikus it's suppose to be half the size of the Kancil, but somehow Malaysian drivers will still be able to squeeze in 6 or 7 passengers. NATIONAL BEHAVIOR AT CAR SHOWROOMS: First walk towards the car you are interested in. Then walk around the car in circles, tapping and knocking every part of the chassis with your knuckles. Then say something like "Body not very solid..." After that approach the front left tire, give it a few hard kicks to "test" the tire. Next walk to the rear right side and press the body of the car down a few times, while exclaiming "wah, asorbar not bad". Now you are ready for a "test drive" Get into the car and give the steering wheel a few turns. Flash the lights, sound the horn, recline the seats, open up every compartment etc. Do all these tests while you're pretending to read the more...

Los Angeles, Fri. In yet another Hollywood misrepresentation of Malaysia, a new movie about the world's most open black market, is being filmed. Jack Moore, an American on holiday with two friends, discovered the real pleasures of' Fascinating Malaysia'. A land where thousands and thousands of movies are available on VCD for only US$1. 50 per title. After stocking up their backpacks with tons of contraband VCDs, Jack was left with the task of packing the stuff and mailing it back home. In an unexpected plot twist, his two friends returned to the US, while Jack stayed behind to tour the rest of Bangsar. Unfortunately for him, the authorities raided his room at Rumah Tumpangan Paris before the Postlaju pick-up arrived. Jack now faces the death penalty for possession of illegal VCDs. According to the script, a little known Malaysian law states that possession of more than 5 pirated copies of the same movie subjects the offender to capital punishment. An even lesser known part of the law more...

One of the main reasons why in recent years the Singapore Government has always ensured that their Miss Universe representative were of tertiary level education or higher was because of the following incident which occurred not too many years ago. It is the final round of the Miss Universe Pageant and the 3 finalists, Miss USA, Miss Malaysia and Miss Singapore are being asked 3 simple questions: MC: The first question is name me an electrical appliance starting with "L" Miss USA: Lamp Miss Malaysia: Light bulb Miss Singapore: LADIO Judge: No, no, Radio does not start with the letter "L" MC: I am going to give you 2 more chances; The next question is name me an animal starting with the letter "L" Miss USA: Lion Miss Malaysia: Leopard Miss Singapore: LABBIT Judge: No, no, no, Rabbit does not start with the letter "L" MC: I am going to give you one last chance, if you answer this question incorrectly, you are disqualified. Name me a fruit starting more...

Singapore and Malaysia have a different philosophies of life. This becomes apparent when we compare the two countries' Rules of Simple Living. Singapore: 1 - One Wife
2 - Two Children
3 - Three Bedroom Condo
4 - Four Wheels
5 - Five Figure Salary And indeed, that is why' Singapore is solid'! Malaysia? Well, Malaysia's Rules of Simple Living are the following: 5 - Five Children
4 - Four Wives
3 - Three Figure Salary
2 - Two Wheels
1 - One-Story Link House...

Two high school sweethearts who went out together for four years in high school were both virgins; they enjoyed losing their virginity with each other in secondary school. When they finished, they wanted to both go to the same university but the girl was accepted to University Sains Malaysia in Penang, and the guy went to University Kebangsaan Malaysia in Bangi Selangor. They agreed to be faithful to each other and spend anytime they could together. As time went on, the guy would call the girl and she would never be home, and when he wrote, she would take weeks to return the letters. Even when he emailed her, she took days to return his messages. Finally, she confessed to him she wanted to date around. He didn't take this very well and increased his calls, letters, and emails trying to win back her love. Because she became annoyed, and now had a new boyfriend, she wanted to get him off her back. So, what she did is this: she took a Polaroid picture of her sucking her new boyfriend's more...