Manure Jokes / Recent Jokes
An American-Indian walks into a saloon with a shotgun in one hand and a 10-litre bucket of manure in the other. The Indian says to the bartender, "Me want Lager!"The bartender says, "Sure, Chief, coming right up." He then serves the Indian atall glass of Tennents Lager. The Indian drinks it down in one gulp, picks up the bucket, throws the manure into the air and blasts it with the shotgun. He then walks out.Five days later, the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand and another bucket of manure in the other.He struts up to the bar and tells the bartender, "Me want beer!"The bartender says, "Whoa there Chief, we're still cleaning up from the last time you were here... What was that allabout, anyway?" he asked.The Indian explained, "Me training for job as government employee. Drink beer, shoot the shit, disappear for a few days, thencome back and see if somebody else has cleaned up the mess me left behind... "
San Francisco: It is illegal to pile horse manure more than six feet high on a street corner.(Dumb Laws - California)
An American-Indian walks into a saloon with a shotgun in one hand and a 10-litre bucket of manure in the other.
The Indian says to the bartender,
"Me want Lager!"
The bartender says, "Sure, Chief, coming right up."
He then serves the Indian a
tall glass of Tennents Lager.
The Indian drinks it down in one gulp, picks up the bucket, throws the manure into the air and blasts it with the shotgun. He then walks out.
Five days later, the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand and another bucket of manure in the other.
He struts up to the bar and tells the bartender, "Me want beer!"
The bartender says, "Whoa there Chief, we're still cleaning up from the last time you were here... What was that all
about, anyway?" he asked.
The Indian explained, "Me training for job as government employee. Drink beer, shoot the shit, disappear for a few days, then
come back and see if somebody else has cleaned more...
This guy dies and is sent to Hell. Satan meets him and shows him the doors to three rooms and says he must choose one of the rooms to spend eternity in.
So Satan opens the first door. In the room there are people standing in cow manure up to their necks. The guy says "No, please show me the next room".
Satan shows him the next room and this has people with cow manure up to their noses. And so he says no again.
Finally, Satan shows him the third and final room. This time there are people in there with cow manure up to their knees drinking cups of tea and eating cakes.
So the guy says, "I`ll choose this room". Satan says O. K. The guys is standing in there eating his cake and drinking his tea thinking, "Well, it could be worse", when the door opens. Satan pops his head around, and says "O. K. tea-break is over. Back on your heads!"
A kid comes home from college. His father is a farmer, and
he's shoveling all the manure out of the outhouse onto the
hay crop to fertilize it. The kid says, "Hey, Pop - I
learned in college that there is an easier way to do
everything."
They go into town and get some dynamite. They're gonna rig
it up under the outhouse and blow the manure into the hay
field. They get it all rigged up, but they don't see
Grandma coming to use the outhouse. Ba-Booom!
The manure goes flying, and so does Grandma. Ploop! She
lands in the hay field. They go running up to her.
"Grandma, Grandma! My God, are you alright? Are you
alright?"
She says, "Yeah, I'm fine. Phew! I'm certainly glad I
didn't let that one go in the kitchen!"
A man was taking a walk when he noticed a small boy busily building something. As he approached the boy, he was shocked to see that he was playing with cow manure.
"Goodness, young man," he said, "what are you doing?"
"I'm making George W. Bush with this manure, sir," the boy replied.
Thorougly taken back, the man asked, "Why are you making George W. Bush? Why not make, say, Bill Clinton?"
"Oh, that's not possible, sir," answered the boy.
"Why not?" asked the man.
"There isn't enough here to make Bill Clinton," explained the boy.