Manure Jokes / Recent Jokes

A person walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other. He says to the waiter, "I want coffee".
The waiter says, "Sure sir, coming right up". He gets the person a tall mug of coffee, and the person drinks it down in one gulp, picks up the bucket of manure, throws it into the air, blasts it with the shotgun, then just walks out.
The next morning the same person returns. He has his shotgun in one hand and the bucket of buffalo manure in the other.
He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter, "I want coffee". The waiter says "Whoa, Tonto. We're still cleaning up your mess from the last time you were here. What the hell was that all about, anyway?"
The man smiles and proudly says, "Iam in training for upper management. Come in, drink coffee, shoot the shit, and disappear for the rest of the day."

A man was walking along when he spotted a small boy busily constructing something. He approached the boy and was shocked to see him playing with cow manure! For lack of anything better to say, he asked, "Little boy, what are you doing?"
The boy replied, "I am making George Bush with this manure, Mister."
Now thoroughly taken aback, the man asked, "Why are you making George Bush? Why not make, er, Bill Clinton?"
The boy answered, "Oh no Mister, I can't make Bill Clinton."
"But why not?" asked the man.
The boy replied "Well, Mister, there isn't enough here to make Bill Clinton."

Indian walks into a bar with a shotgun in one hand and a bucket of Buffalo manure in the other. He says to the bartender: “Me want beer. ” The bartender says: “Sure Chief, coming right up. ” He gets the Indian a tall draft beer and the Indian drinks it down in one gulp, picks up the bucket, throws the manure into the air and blasts it with the shotgun, then he walks out. Four days later the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand and another bucket of manure in the other. He walks up to the bar and says to the bartender: “Me want beer. ” The bartender says: “Whoa, Tonto, we’re still cleaning up from the last time you were in here. What was that all about, anyway? “The Indian says, “Me in training for job as federal employee; drink beer, shoot the shit, and disappear for a few days. ”

Below are fine examples of what happens when marketing translations fail to reach a foreign country in an understandable way.

Coors put its slogan, "Turn it loose," into Spanish, where it was read as "Suffer from diarrhea."

Clairol introduced the "Mist Stick," a curling iron, into German only to find out that "mist" is slang for manure. Not too many people had use for the "manure stick".

Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an American campaign: Nothing sucks like an Electrolux.

The American slogan for Salem cigarettes, "Salem-Feeling Free", was translated into the Japanese market as "When smoking Salem, you will feel so refreshed that your mind seems to be free and empty."

When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same packaging as in the US, with the beautiful baby on the label. Later they learned that in more...

The Dairy Association's huge success with the campaign "Got Milk?" prompted them to expand advertising to Mexico. It was soon brought to their attention the Spanish translation read "Are you lactating?"

Coors put its slogan, "Turn It Loose," into Spanish, where it was read as "Suffer From Diarrhea."

Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an American campaign: "Nothing sucks like an Electrolux."

Clairol introduced the "Mist Stick," a curling iron, into Germany only to find out that "mist" is slang for manure. Not too many people had use for the "Manure Stick."

When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same packaging as in the US, with the smiling baby on the label. Later they learned that in Africa, companies routinely put pictures on the labels of what's inside, since many people can't read.

Colgate more...

Banta wanted to board his horse. The first farmer he asked said he would keep it at Rs 250 a day, plus he would keep the manure. Banta thought that was too high and went to another farmer. His price was Rs 200 per day plus he would get to keep the manure. Then he went to Santa who asked just Rs 50 a day. Banta asked, "Don`t you want to keep the manure?" Santa said, "At Rs 50 a day, there won`t be any!"

If the artist ever wants to move to the United States, he will find plenty of manure in Washington to sculpt every member of Congress.