Marketing Jokes / Recent Jokes

A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes from their real life Dilbert-type managers. Here are the finalists:
1. "As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their cards in two weeks." (This was the winning quote from Fred Dales at Microsoft Corp. in Redmond, WA.)
2. "What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we will encounter." (Lykes Lines Shipping)
3. "E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business." (Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company)
4. "This project is so important, we can't let things that are more important interfere with it." (Advertising/Marketing manager, United Parcel Service)
5. "Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule."
6. more...

You go to a party and you see a SEXY girl across the room.
You go up to her and say "Hi, I'm great in bed, what about it?".
That's direct marketing.
You go to a party and you see a SEXY girl across the room.
You give your friend a tenner.
He goes up and says "Hi, my friend over there is great in bed, what about it?".
That's advertising.
You go to a party, you see a SEXY girl across the room.
She comes over and says, "Hi, I hear you're great in bed, what about it?"
That, apparently, is the power of Public Relation.