Marrying Jokes / Recent Jokes
A young West Virginian girl wanted to go to college at UVA. But her father said' No Way! You're going to By-God West Virginia Univ.'
Well she got her way and she went to UVA. The first semester went by, and she wrote home that she was getting married to a man from Richmond, VA named Clarence. Her father said' I'll be damned if my daughter is marrying a man from Richmond. You're marrying a By-God West Virginian boy.'
So he sent his two sons to UVA to get their sister. In a couple of days they returned. Dad said' Where is your sister?'
They replied' We were almost there Daddy, and we came up on this overpass that had this sign that read -' Clarence 13'6" - so we turned around and got the hell out of there!'
Q: Did you hear about Michael Jackson marrying Lisa-Marie Presley?A: If Elvis were dead, he'd turn over in his grave.
A young West Virginian girl wanted to go to college at UVA. But her father said "No way! You're going to By-God West Virginia Univ."
Well, she got her way and she went to UVA. The first semester went by, and she wrote home that she was getting married, to a man from Richmond, VA named Clarence. Her father said "I'll be damned if my daughter is marrying a man from Richmond, you're marrying a By-God West Virginian boy," so he sent his two sons to UVA to get their sister.
In a couple of days they returned. The confused father asked "Where is your sister?"
They replied "We were almost there Dad, but we got to this overpass with a sign that said 'Clarence 13'6'' so we turned around and drove the hell out of there!"
A young West Virginian girl wanted to go to college at UVA. But her father said 'No Way! You're going to By-God West Virginia Univ.'
Well she got her way and she went to UVA. The first semester went by, and she wrote home that she was getting married to a man from Richmond, VA named Clarence. Her father said 'I'll be damned if my daughter is marrying a man from Richmond. You're marrying a By-God West Virginian boy.'
So he sent his two sons to UVA to get their sister. In a couple of days they returned. Dad said 'Where is your sister?'
They replied 'We were almost there Daddy, and we came up on this overpass that had this sign that read - 'Clarence 13'6" - so we turned around and got the hell out of there!'
A young West Virginian girl wanted to go to college at UVA. But her father said 'No Way! You're going to By-God West Virginia Univ.'Well she got her way and she went to UVA. The first semester went by, and she wrote home that she was getting married to a man from Richmond, VA named Clarence. Her father said 'I'll be damned if my daughter is marrying a man from Richmond. You're marrying a By-God West Virginian boy.'So he sent his two sons to UVA to get their sister. In a couple of days they returned. Dad said 'Where is your sister?'They replied 'We were almost there Daddy, and we came up on this overpass that had this sign that read - 'Clarence 13'6" - so we turned around and got the hell out of there!'
MARRIAGE Dictionary
Bachelor: 1) A guy who has avoided the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
2) A guy who is footloose and fiancee-free.
3) A man who every morning comes to work from a different direction.
4) A man who never makes the same mistake once.
5) A nice guy who has cheated some nice girl out of her alimony.
6) A person who believes in life, liberty, and the happiness of pursuit.
7) A selfish guy who has cheated some woman out of a divorce.
8) The only man who has never told his wife a lie.
Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
Bridegroom: A gent who exchanges living quarters for a better half.
Cad: A man who doesn't tell his wife that he's sterile until she's pregnant.
Childish game: One at which your spouse beats you.
Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.
Diplomat: A man who can convince his wife she would more...
Marriage Quotes 3
A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take her off his hands. - Sacha Guitry
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. - Sacha Guitry
An ideal wife is one who remains faithful to you but tries to be just as charming as if she weren't. - Sacha Guitry
The marriage of Marxism and feminism has been like the marriage of husband and wife depicted in English common law: Marxism and feminism are one, and that one is Marxism. - Heidi Hartmann [The Unhappy Marriage of Marxism and Feminism]
If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married. - Katherine Hepburn
Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then. - Katherine Hepburn
Bigamy is one way of avoiding the painful publicity of divorce and the expense of alimony. - Oliver more...