Marrying Jokes / Recent Jokes

101 Reasons why women prefer cucumbers to Men
1. The average cucumber is at least 6 inches long.
2. Cucumbers stay hard for a week.
3. Cucumbers won't tell you size doesn't count.
4. Cucumbers don't get too excited.
5. Cucumbers never suffer from performance anxiety.
6. Cucumbers are easy to pick up.
7. You can fondle a cucumber in a supermarket... and you know how firm it is before you take it home.
8. Cucumbers can get away any weekend.
9. With a cucumber you can get a single room... and you won't have to check-in as Mrs. Cucumber.
10. A cucumber will always respect you in the morning.
11. You can go to a movie with a cucumber... and see the movie.
12. You can go to a drive-in with a cucumber... and you can stay in the front seat.
13. With a cucumber you can always wait until you get home.
14. A cucumber won't eat all the popcorn... or send you out for Milk Duds.
15. A cucumber won't drag you to a John Wayne Film more...

Good advice
Jeremy warned his son against marrying a `shiksa.`
The son replied, "But she`s converting to Judaism."
"It doesn`t matter," Jeremy said, "a shiksa will cause problems."
After the wedding, Jeremy called the son, who was in business with him, and asked him why he was not at work.
"It`s Shabbos," the son replied.
Jeremy was surprised and said, "But we always work on Saturday. It`s our busiest day."
"I won`t work anymore on Saturday," the son insisted, "because my wife wants us to go to shul on Shabbos."
"See," Jeremy said, "I told you marrying a shiksa would cause problems."

Swears she thought she was marrying Michael Keaton.

A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take her off his hands. - Sacha Guitry
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. - Sacha Guitry
An ideal wife is one who remains faithful to you but tries to be just as charming as if she weren't. - Sacha Guitry
The marriage of Marxism and feminism has been like the marriage of husband and wife depicted in English common law: Marxism and feminism are one, and that one is Marxism. - Heidi Hartmann [The Unhappy Marriage of Marxism and Feminism]
If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married. - Katherine Hepburn
Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then. - Katherine Hepburn
Bigamy is one way of avoiding the painful publicity of divorce and the expense of alimony. - Oliver Herford
Wedding is destiny, and more...

A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take her off his hands. - Sacha GuitryWhen a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. - Sacha GuitryAn ideal wife is one who remains faithful to you but tries to be just as charming as if she weren't. - Sacha GuitryThe marriage of Marxism and feminism has been like the marriage of husband and wife depicted in English common law: Marxism and feminism are one, and that one is Marxism. - Heidi Hartmann [The Unhappy Marriage of Marxism and Feminism]If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married. - Katherine HepburnSometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then. - Katherine HepburnBigamy is one way of avoiding the painful publicity of divorce and the expense of alimony. - Oliver HerfordWedding is destiny, and hanging likewise. - John more...