Mass Jokes / Recent Jokes

For years, it has been believed that electric bulbs emit light, but recent information has proved otherwise. Electric bulbs don't emit light; they suck dark. Thus, we call these bulbs Dark Suckers.The Dark Sucker Theory and the existence of dark suckers prove that dark has mass and is heavier than light.First, the basis of the Dark Sucker Theory is that electric bulbs suck dark. For example, take the Dark Sucker in the room you are in. There is much less dark right next to it than there is elsewhere. The larger the Dark Sucker, the greater its capacity to to suck dark. Dark Suckers in the parking lot have a much greater capacity to suck dark than the ones in this room.So with all things, Dark Suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark, they can no longer suck. This is proven by the dark spot on a full Dark Sucker.A candle is a primitive Dark Sucker. A new candle has a white wick. You can see that after the first use, the wick turns black, representing all the dark that has more...

BARITONE/EUPHONIUM: This is a weapon of mass confusion. Euphonium players are the Rodney Dangerfields of the brass world. Young players especially don't know their place in the band. They double French horns, trombones, saxophones, tubas in octaves, bass clarinets, bassoons... yadda, yadda, yadda! Euphonium orchestral parts are played by the second trombone or worse, the tuba player! For this reason most euphonium......... baritone...(WHATEVER!) players resort to doubling on trombone. This is when they become dangerous.