Matters Jokes

Nothing matters very much, and very few things matter at all.

A DONKEY was in the witness box. The cross-
examining lawyer addressing the court said, "Your
Honour, this gadha......" The witness shouted, "Your
Honour, I object to the insinuation."
The judge said-"But aren't you one?" The witness clarified, "It is not the word that matters. It is the manner in which the word is uttered and the meaning sought to be conveyed that matters."
The judge ruled-"Objection sustained."

The drinker announced to the bartender, "It seems I've been informally named advisor on 'Sexual Matters' at my company.""That sounds interesting. Does this mean you'll be counseling the big bosses on relations with their secretaries?""I'm not sure yet," he answered. "During a staff meeting, I popped up to suggest a reduction in executive expense accounts and it was after that I was told if they ever wanted my fucking advice, they'd let me know."

What matters is not the length of the wand, but the
magic in the stick.

It matters not whether you win or lose: what matters is whether I win or lose.