Medicine Jokes / Recent Jokes
Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob
suggests they go in. Jacob addresses the man behind the counter:
'Are you the owner?' The pharmacist answers yes.
Says Jacob:' We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?'
Pharmacist:' Of course we do.'
Jacob:' How about medicine for circulation?'
Pharmacist:' All kinds.'
Jacob:' Medicine for rheumatism, scoliosis?'
Pharmacist:' Definitely.'
Jacob:' How about Viagra?'
Pharmacist:' Of course.'
Jacob:' Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?'
Pharmacist:' Yes, a large variety. The works.'
Jacob:' What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?'
Pharmacist:' Absolutely.'
Jacob:' You sell wheelchairs and walkers?'
Pharmacist:' All speeds and sizes.'
Jacob says to the more...
Why do doctors slap babies when they are born? To knock the penises off the smart ones.
Hiram answers the telephone, and it's an emergency room doctor. The doctor says, "Your wife was in a serious car accident, and I have bad news and good news. The bad news is she has lost all use of both arms and both legs, and will be on a respirator the rest of her life." Hiram says, "My God. What's the good news?" The doctor says, "I'm kidding. She's dead."
A man went to the doctor to get a physical, afterthe doctor examined him, he told the man he hadsome bad news... he had cancer and alzheimers. The man replied, " Well, at least I don't havecancer"
Well, if there's any truth to this study at all, then I should live to be 180 minimum! :)
From the New England Journal of Medicine:
Great news for girl watchers: Ogling over women's breasts is good for a man's health and can add years to his life, medical experts have discovered.
According to the New England Journal of Medicine, "Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well-endowed female is roughly equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics work-out" declared gerontologist Dr. Karen Weatherby.
Dr. Weatherby and fellow researchers at three hospitals in Frankfurt, Germany, reached the startling conclusion after comparing the health of 200 male outpatients - half of whom were instructed to look at busty females daily, the other half told to refrain from doing so.
The study revealed that after five years, the chest-watchers had lower blood pressure, slower resting pulse rates and fewer instances of coronary artery disease. "Sexual excitement gets the more...
Doctor, the embarrassed man said, "I have a sexual problem. I can't get it up for my wife anymore." Mr. Thomas, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can do." The next day the worried fellow returned with his wife. "Take off your clothes, Mrs. Thomas," the medic said. "Now turn all the way around. Lie down please. Uh-huh, I see. Ok, you may put your clothes back on." The doctor took the husband aside. "You're in perfect health," he said. "Your wife didn't give me an erection either."
Well, if there's any truth to this study at all, then I should live to be 180 minimum! :)From the New England Journal of Medicine:Great news for girl watchers: Ogling over women's breasts is good for a man's health and can add years to his life, medical experts have discovered.According to the New England Journal of Medicine, "Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well-endowed female is roughly equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics work-out" declared gerontologist Dr. Karen Weatherby.Dr. Weatherby and fellow researchers at three hospitals in Frankfurt, Germany, reached the startling conclusion after comparing the health of 200 male outpatients - half of whom were instructed to look at busty females daily, the other half told to refrain from doing so.The study revealed that after five years, the chest-watchers had lower blood pressure, slower resting pulse rates and fewer instances of coronary artery disease. "Sexual excitement gets the heart pumping and improves more...