Medicine Jokes / Recent Jokes

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, living in Florida, are
all excited about their decision to get married. They go
for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way they
pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in.
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Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the
owner?"
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The pharmacist answers, "Yes."
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Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart
medication?"
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Pharmacist: "Of course we do."
.
Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?"
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Pharmacist: "All kinds."
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Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism and scoliosis?"
.
Pharmacist: "Definitely."
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Jacob: "How about Viagra?"
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Pharmacist: "Of course."
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Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis,
jaundice?"
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Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety. The works."
.
Jacob: more...

A woman was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet." I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, andrepeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you'llhave lost at least 5 pounds." When the woman returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly20 pounds." Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow myinstructions?" The woman nodded. "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going todrop dead that third day." "From hunger, you mean?" "No, from skipping."

& Grandma of a boy don’t like eating medicine. So the boy went to the doctor and asked what he could do. The doctor tells him a trick. The boy came into home with some sweet and put the medicine inside it and gave it to Grandma to eat the sweet as she likes it very much. & After eating sweets the Grand son told to Grandma, “I am very happy to see that you have eaten all the sweets. ” Grand Ma replied, “Yes I have eaten all sweets but I didn’t like the seeds inside them and removed all seeds from it.

Hotel Letters
The following letters were taken from an actual incident between aLondon hotel and one of its guests. The hotel submitted the letters to the London SundayTimes for their humor column....

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Dear Maid,
    Please do not leave any more of those little barsof soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the sixunopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in theshower soap dish. They are in my way.
Thank you,
S. Berman

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Dear Room 635,
    I am not your regular maid. She will be backtomorrow, Thursday, from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dishas you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of yourKleenex dispenser in case you more...

Patient: (to cosmetic-surgeon)' Will it hurt, doctor? Surgeon:' Only when you get my bill, Mrs Brown'.

Jon's working at the lumberyard, pushing a tree through the buzz saw, and accidentally shears off all ten of his fingers. He goes to the emergency room. The doctor says, "Yuck! Well, give me the fingers, and I'll see what I can do." Jon says, "I haven't got the fingers." The doctor says, "What do you mean, you haven't got the fingers? It's 1998. We've got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques. I could have put them back on and made you like new. Why didn't you bring the fingers?" Jon says, "Well, shit, Doc, I couldn't pick' em up."

A very well-built young lady was lying on her psychiatrist's couch, telling him how frustrated she was. "I tried to be an actress and failed," she complained. "I tried to be a secretary and failed; I tried being a writer and failed; then I tried being a sales clerk and I failed at that, too." The shrink thought for a moment and said... "Everyone needs to live a full, satisfying life. Why don't you try nursing?" The girl thinks about this, then bares one of her large, beautiful breasts, points it at the shrink, and says... "Well go ahead, I'll give it a try!"