Medicine Jokes / Recent Jokes
There was the surgeon who was arrested for drunkendriving. They let him go, though. He was already an hourlate for an operation.
Jacob age 85, and Rebecca age 79 are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way go past a drugstore. Jacob suggests that they go in. He addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?" The pharmacist answers, "Yes." Jacob: "Do you sell heart medication?" Pharmacist: "Of course we do." Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?" Pharmacist: "All kinds." Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism?" Pharmacist: "Definitely." Jacob: "How about Viagra?" Pharmacist: "Of course." Jacob: "Medicine for memory?" Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety." Jacob: "What about vitamins and sleeping pills?" Pharmacist: "Absolutely." Jacob: "Perfect! We'd like to register here for our wedding gifts."
I said to the doctor "I have this ringing in my ears." He said, "Don't answer it!"
A beautiful young girl is about to undergo a minoroperation. She's laid on a trolley bed by a lady ina white dress and brought to the corridor. Beforethey enter the room she leaves her behind the theatredoor to go in and check whether everything is ready. A young man wearing a white coat approaches, takes thesheet away and starts examining her naked body. He walksaway and talks to another man in a white coat. The secondman comes over and does the same examinations. When the third man starts examining her body so closely, she grows impatient and says: "All these examinations arefine and appreciated, but when are you going to start thoperation?" The man in the white coat shrugged his shoulders: "I haveno idea. We're just painting the corridor."
A man visits the doctor's because he has a severe stuttering problem. After a thorough examination, the doctor consults with the patient. Doctor:' It appears that the reason for your stuttering is that your penis is about six inches too long and it is thus pulling on your vocal cords, and thereby causing you this annoying problem of stuttering. Patient: Ddddd octttor. Whhaaat cccan I dddo? (Doctor what can I do?)The doctor scratches his forehead, thinks for a minute and states that there is a procedure where we can free up the strain on the vocal cords by removing the six inches from the penis and freeing him from this horrible problem. The patient stuttering badly states that this problem has caused him so much embarrassment as well as loss of employment that anything would be worth it. The doctor plans for the procedure. The operation is a success and six months later the patient comes in for his check up. Patient: Doctor, the operation was a success. I have not stuttered since the more...
Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are quite excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in.
Jacob addresses the man behind the counter. "Are you the owner?"
The pharmacist answers, "Yes."
Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"
Pharmacist: "Of course we do."
Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?"
Pharmacist: "Many kinds."
Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism, scoliosis?"
Pharmacies: "Definitely."
Jacob: "How about Viagra?"
Pharmacist: Hesitates slightly but answers, "Of course."
Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?"
Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety."
Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's?"
Pharmacist: more...
She said, "Kiss me doctor!" Doctor said, "I can't as we doctors have an ethics standard that does not allow us to kiss our patients, in fact, I really shouldn't be fucking you."