Megan Jokes

Kurt and Megan (a blonde) were bored in math class and one day when they decided to play "The Calculator Game". I'm sure many people reading this remember it - it's the one where you enter "1 + 1 =" into your calculator and continue pressing the "=" sign. The goal is to see who can get to the highest number while the math teacher is talking. Bring back any memories? Anyways, Kurt and Megan waited until the teacher started talking, and the contest was on! Fingers were pushing the "=" sign like mad. A hour and a half later, Kurt and Megan compared results. Kurt showed his number: 5,318,008. Megan said, "I don't get it. I was feeling so clever and I thought I'd play a trick on you, but I'm still at 1!!!"
"Well, what trick did you play?" Said Kurt.
Megan said, "I know that multiplication makes numbers bigger than addition does, so instead of pushing 1 + 1 =, =, =, =,..., I pushed 1 x 1 = = = = =..."

Teacher: Megan, what are the four main food groups?

Megan: Canned, frozen, instant and lite.

"Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" star Megan Fox has told US Magazine she is horrified after accidentally snubbing a young boy that tried to give her a yellow rose at the movie's premiere in London, saying that if anyone knows who he is, she will send him a personal apology.
In other news, I'd like to apologize for ignoring Megan Fox's restraining order, and if anyone knows how I can get a hold of her, I would like to say sorry to her personally.

Controversial "Egan's Law" Expected to Gain Widespread Support
Trenton, N.J. (SatireWire.com) — Under a new law designed to protect minors, local police departments will now be required to inform residents any time a known Roman Catholic church moves into their neighborhood.
The law also mandates that Catholic churches register with authorities, wear electronic monitoring devices, and be prohibited from moving to within a half-mile radius of a school.
A follow-up to Megan's Law, enacted by New Jersey in 1994, the so-called "Egan's Law" is named for Cardinal Edward Egan of New York and Cardinal Bernard Law of Boston, who are both accused of covering up sexual abuse by priests under their authority. Like Megan's Law, Egan's Law is expected to spread quickly to other states, but for parents in towns across New Jersey, it's on the books none too soon.
"Last year, we discovered that a Catholic Church had been in our neighborhood for 30 years! And more...

Knock, knock?
Whos there?
Megan and chicken
Megan and chicken who?
He's megan a list and chicken it twice, he's gonna find out whos naughty and nice...