Memphis Jokes / Recent Jokes

The University of Memphis reversed a long-standing policy banning beer from home football games. We suggest a new slogan: "Memphis Football: Finally Tolerable."

HOW TO SING THE BLUES
(attrib. to Memphis Earlene Gray with help from Uncle Plunky)

1. Most blues begin:' Woke up this morning.'

2.' I got a good woman' is a bad way to begin the
blues, unless you stick something nasty in the
next line.
I got a good woman--
with the meanest dog in town.

3. Blues are simple. After you have the first
line right, repeat it. Then find something that
rhymes. Sort of.
Got a good woman
with the meanest dog in town.
He got teeth like Margaret Thatcher
and he weighs about 500 pounds.

4. The blues are not about limitless choice.

5. Blues cars are Chevies and Cadillacs. Other
acceptable blues transportation is Greyhound
bus or a southbound train. Walkin' plays a
major part in the blues lifestyle. So does
fixin' to die.

6. Teenagers can't sing the blues. Adults sing
the blues. Blues adulthood means old enough more...

A farmer and his pig were driving down the road when a cop pulled him over.

The cop asked the farmer, "Didn't you know it is against the law to ride with a pig in the front of you truck?"

The farmer replied, "No, I didn't knowed that."

The cop ask the farmer where he was going and he said, "To Memphis". The cop said, "I will let you off the hook this time if you promise to take the pig to the zoo when you get to Memphis."

So the farmer promised he would.

Several days later the cop spotted the farmer with the pig driving down the road and he pulled him over again.

The cop said "I thought I told you to take this pig to the zoo when you got to Memphis" and to this the farmer replied "I did and we had so much fun, I'm taking him to the circus."

A farmer and his pig were driving down the road when a cop pulled him over. The cop asked the farmer, "Didn't you know it is against the law to ride with a pig in the front of you truck?" The farmer replied, "No, I didn't knowed that." The cop ask the farmer where he was going and he said, "To Memphis". The cop said, "I will let you off the hook this time if you promise to take the pig to the zoo when you get to Memphis." So the farmer promised he would. Several days later the cop spotted the farmer with the pig driving down the road and he pulled him over again. The cop said "I thought I told you to take this pig to the zoo when you got to Memphis" and to this the farmer replied "I did and we had so much fun, I'm taking him to the circus."

A farmer and his pig were driving down the road when a cop pulled him over.
The cop asked the farmer, "Didn't you know it is against the law to ride with a pig in the front of you truck?"
The farmer replied, "No, I didn't knowed that."
The cop ask the farmer where he was going and he said, "To Memphis". The cop said, "I will let you off the hook this time if you promise to take the pig to the zoo when you get to Memphis."
So the farmer promised he would.
Several days later the cop spotted the farmer with the pig driving down the road and he pulled him over again.
The cop said "I thought I told you to take this pig to the zoo when you got to Memphis" and to this the farmer replied "I did and we had so much fun, I'm taking him to the circus."