Merger Jokes / Recent Jokes
Did you hear about the FedEx-UPS merger? The new company's gonna be called FedUp!
We wish to repeat an interesting business rumor.
If this one pans out, remember that you saw it
here first.
It is widely rumored today on the internet
that United Parcel Service and Federal
Express have begun preliminary discussions
regarding a potential merger.
The new company will be called: FedUp.
This just in from News Service.
A MAJOR MERGER IS ANNOUNCED
Continuing the current trend of large-scale mergers and acquisitions, it was
announced today at a press conference that Christmas and Chanukah will merge.
An industry source said that the deal had been in the works for about 1300
years, ever since the rise of the Muslim Empire. While details were not
available at press time, it is believed that the overhead cost of having twelve
days of Christmas and eight days of Chanukah was becoming prohibitive for both
organizations. By combining forces, we're told, the world will be able to enjoy
consistently high-quality service during the Twenty Days of Christmukah, as the
new holiday is being called. Massive layoffs are expected, with lords
a-leaping and maids a-milking being the hardest hit.
As part of the conditions of the agreement, the letters on the dreydl,
currently in Hebrew, will be more...
Mergers that may or may not make the world a funnier place:
There was a rumor that W. R. Grace Co. was going to buy the Fuller Brush Co. and Mary Kay Cosmetics and then merge with the Hale Business Systems. This would result in the new mega-corporate entity known as:' Hale Mary Fuller Grace.'
Don't forget the failed merger between Yahoo and Netscape....Net'n'yahoo.... (say it out loud) A great number of years ago there was a proposed merger between Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers. Rumor had it that the new company would be called. ... Fairwell Honeychild.
It was announced that Wurlitzer is merging with Xerox. They are going to market. .. reproductive organs.
There is a merger in the works involving Polygram Records, Warner Brothers, and Keebler. It will be called. .. Poly-Warner-Cracker.
Other Merger's we'd like to see:
3M & Goodyear.......................... mmmGood
John Deere & more...
The Board of Directors of the Microsoft Corporation, the world's largest computer software provider, and the Harley-Davidson Motor Company, America's largest manufacturer of heavyweight motorcycles, have voted to approve a merger that will create one of the world's largest but strangest multinational corporations.
"When you think about it, it only makes sense," said Harley-Davidson Director of Communications Steve Piehl. "We both share the same fundamental design philosophies: Our products are large, antiquated, slow, full of bugs and break down at the most unexpected moments. We like to think of this natural marriage as synergy."
The new company will be known as Micro-Davidson and based neither in Redmond, Washington nor Milwaukee, Wisconsin but somewhere in between. Company representatives have been scouting sites along the Wyoming/South Dakota border. Instead of moving to an existing township, the cash-rich conglomerate plans to build its own. more...