Meself Jokes

"I can tell by your accent that ye're Irish. Pray tell, what part o' Ireland ye from?""I'm from Dublin" the man replied."Are ye now? Well, it just so happens I'm from Dublin meself. Where 'bouts did ye grow up?""I grew up on the south side, near Malcolm Street." said the second man."Well kiss my Blarney Stone!" said the first, "I grew up on Malcolm Street meself. Tell me, did ye go to school around there?""Aye, I went to St. Agnes.""Faith and Begorrah! I went to St. Agnes meself. What year'd ye graduate?""I was in the class o' '67""Well ain't this a small world!" said the first man "I graduated in 1967 meself"About this time another man walks in and sits down at the opposite end of the bar and orders a drink. As the bartender take him his usual he says:"Evening, Mike, you know it's gonna be a long night when the O'Malley twins get drunk."

Three leprechauns, Sean, Mick and Kevin, are sitting in the pub getting quietly pissed when Mick shouts out, 'Jaysus, I'm bored wid bein' a feckin' nobody. I'm tinkin' I'll take meself down to de Guinness Book of Records office and get meself entered in de book.'
'What de hell are ye talkin' about, ye eejit? You've dun nuttin' to get in de book for,' says Sean.
'Well, it's me hands, Sean,' Mick says, waving them around. 'I tink dey are de smallest in de world and I'm gonna get meself entered into de book and I'll be world famous.'
The other two agree that they are quite small and they all carry on drinking heartily.
A little while later Kevin pipes up, 'Ya know Mick, if ye can get into de Guinness Book of Records for yer small hands, so can I.'
The other two smirk at each other and Mick says, 'How can ye have de smallest hands in the world if I've got dem, ya bloody fool?'
Kevin replies, 'It's not me hands, Mick, it's me feet,' and he takes his boots to show more...