Michael Jokes / Recent Jokes

How does Michael Jackson know its time for bed? When the big hand is on the little hand.

How does Michael Jackson know when his bedtime is?
When the big hand touches the little hand.

Swears she thought she was marrying Michael Keaton.

Q: Have you heard about Michael Jackson's New Book? A: It's called, "The In's and Out's of Child Rearing". Q: What do Michael Jackson and the Baltimore Orioles have in common? A: They both walk around with one glove on their hand for no apparent reason. Michael Jackson and Tonya Harding have decided to begin training racehorses together? Yup, she's gonna do all the handicapping and he's gonna ride all the 3-year-olds! Q: Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men?? A: He thought it was a delivery service. The Pope has issued a proclamation on Michael Jackson. If he hears any more allegations about little boys, the Pope says he'll have no choice but to make him a priest! Q: How can you tell when Michael Jackson is giving a party? A: By all the Big Wheels parked in his driveway. And finally, I found out why Michael has cut down on public appearances... He wants to spend more time with the kids!

Q. What do Michael Jackson and Wal-Mart have in common?
A. They both have boys pants half off.

A pilot, Michael Jordon, Bill Gates, the Pope, and a pizza delivery man were all in a plane together traveling through stormy conditions.
Suddenly, the pilot came running back to the passengers and announced that lightning had hit the plane, and they were going to crash in a matter of minutes. "There are only enough parachutes for four of the five of us," he announced. "Since I'm the pilot, I get one!" After saying this, the pilot grabbed a parachute and jumped out of the plane.
"I'm the world's greatest athlete," proclaimed Michael Jordon. "This world needs great athletes, so I must live." Michael Jordon then grabbed a parachute and leaped out of the plane.
"I'm the smarest man in the world," bragged Bill Gates. "The world needs smart men, so I must also live!" Bill Gates grabbed a parachute and jumped out of the plane.
At this point, the Pope began to speak. "I have lived a long life compared to you, more...

A pilot, Michael Jordon, Bill Gates, the Pope, and a pizza delivery man were all in a plane together traveling through stormy conditions.Suddenly, the pilot came running back to the passengers and announced that lightning had hit the plane, and they were going to crash in a matter of minutes. "There are only enough parachutes for four of the five of us," he announced. "Since I'm the pilot, I get one!" After saying this, the pilot grabbed a parachute and jumped out of the plane."I'm the world's greatest athlete," proclaimed Michael Jordon. "This world needs great athletes, so I must live." Michael Jordon then grabbed a parachute and leaped out of the plane."I'm the smarest man in the world," bragged Bill Gates. "The world needs smart men, so I must also live!" Bill Gates grabbed a parachute and jumped out of the plane.At this point, the Pope began to speak. "I have lived a long life compared to you, and you may take the more...