Michigan Jokes / Recent Jokes

You define summer as three months of bad sledding.
You think Alkaline batteries were named for a Tiger outfielder.
You can identify an Ohio accent.
Owning a Japanese car was a hanging offense in your hometown.
You know how to play (and pronounce) Euchre.
The Big Mac is something that you drive across.
You believe that "down south" means Toledo.
You bake with soda and drink pop.
You drive 86 on the highway and you pass on the right.
Your Little League baseball game was snowed out.
You learned how to drive a boat before you learned how to ride a bike.
You know how to pronounce "Mackinac."
The word "thumb" has a geographical rather than an anatomical significance.
You have experienced frostbite and sunburn in the same week.
You expect Vernor's when you order ginger ale.
You know that Kalamazoo not only exists, but that it isn't far from Hell.
Your favorite holidays are Christmas, more...

NFL commissioner Roger Goodell has expressed interest in having a team in London. Detroit residents have nominated the Lions.

Comeback quarterback Daunte Culpepper spent the day with the Detroit Lions. That should certainly cure him of his desire to ever play football again.

NFL League owners have voted 30-2 to make the video replay system a permanent officiating tool. In related news, NFL League owners have voted 30-2 to make the video replay system a permanent officiating tool. The Detroit Lions will not use the replay system, as they always make the same mistakes anyway.

The Detroit Lions are reportedly on the lookout for a quarterback. In related news, Detroit fans are on the lookout for any kind of money back.

After coach Osborne dies and enters the Pearly Gates, God takes him on tour. He shows Mr. Osborne a little two-room house with a faded University of Nebraska banner hanging from the front porch.
"This is your house, coach. Most people don't get their own houses up here," God says. Mr. Osborne looks at the house, then turns around
and looks at the one sitting on top of the hill. It's a huge three-story mansion with white marble columns and little patios under all the windows.
Michigan flags line both sides of the sidewalk and a huge Michigan banner hangs between the marble columns.
"Thanks for the house, God. But let me ask you a question. I get this little two-room house with a faded banner and Lloyd Carr gets a mansion with new Michigan banners and flags flying all over the place.
"Why is that?" God looks at him seriously for a moment.
"That's not Carr's house," God says. "That's mine."

The NFL has decided to maintain their tradition of showing a Detroit Lions game on Thanksgiving. Because the best way to enjoy Thanksgiving is with a giant turkey.