Mick Jokes / Recent Jokes

Paddy and Mick shared first prize of $500,000 in the Irish Sweepstakes and were celebrating their winnings over a jar of stout.
"But Paddy, Oi've been thinking," Mick said with a worried frown, "what will we do with all them beggin' letters?"
"Shure," said Paddy, "we'll go on sending 'em out."

Paddy and Mick were approaching a pub which had been destroyed by an
IRA bomb only minutes before. As they passed, a head rolled out of the smoldering
ruins and across the pavement before them. Paddy stooped, picked it up and held
it for Mick to see.
"Shure now Mick, isn't this Sean Murphy?"
"No, Paddy, no, it couldn't be. It's an amazin' resemblance, but Murphy
was shorter than that."

Paddy was trapped in a bog and seemed a goner when Big Mick O'Reilly wandered by.

"Help!" Paddy shouted, "Oi'm sinkin'!" Don't worry," assured Mick. "Next to the Strong Muldoon, Oi'm the strongest man in Erin, and Oi'll pull ye right out o' there."

Mick leaned out and grabbed Paddy's hand and pulled and pulled to no avail. After two more unsuccessful attempts, Mick said to Paddy, "Shure, an' Oi can't do it. The Strong Muldoon could do it alone, mebbe, but Oi'll have to get some help."

As Mick was leaving, Paddy called "Mick! Mick! D'ye think it will help if Oi pull me feet out of the stirrups?"

Paddy 'n' Mick join the army, and are put on street patrol in a city with a military curfew. They are given instructions to shoot anybody who's on the streets after 6 o'clock. So one day, they're out at twenty to 6, when Paddy spots a man walking on the other side of the street. He lines up the man in his sights and shoots the man dead. Mick is shocked.
"What are you doin', Paddy? It ain't 6 yet!"
"I know what I'm doin'. I know where he lives and he wouldn't have made it!"

Paddy was standing at the bar with a Rottweiler at his feet.
'Does your dog bite, Paddy?' asked Mick.
'No,' replied Paddy.
So Mick went to pat the dog and the dog just about tore Mick's arm off.
'I thought you said your dog didn't bite,' screamed Mick.
'That's not my dog,' replied Paddy.

Paddy was trapped in a bog and seemed a goner when Big Mick O'Reilly
wandered by.
"Help!" Paddy shouted, "Oi'm sinkin'!"
Don't worry," assured Mick. "Next to the Strong Muldoon, Oi'm the
strongest man in Erin, and Oi'll pull ye right out o' there."
Mick leaned out and grabbed Paddy's hand and pulled and pulled to no
avail. After two more unsuccessful attempts, Mick said to Paddy, "Shure, an' Oi
can't do it. The Strong Muldoon could do it alone, mebbe, but Oi'll have to get
some help."
As Mick was leaving, Paddy called "Mick! Mick! D'ye think it will help
if I pull me feet out of the stirrups?"

Paddy was trapped in a bog and seemed a goner when Big Mick O'Reilly wandered by.
"Help!" Paddy shouted, "Oi'm sinkin'!" Don't worry," assured Mick. "Next to the Strong Muldoon, Oi'm the strongest man in Erin, and Oi'll pull ye right out o' there."
Mick leaned out and grabbed Paddy's hand and pulled and pulled to no avail. After two more unsuccessful attempts, Mick said to Paddy, "Shure, an' Oi can't do it. The Strong Muldoon could do it alone, mebbe, but Oi'll have to get some help."
As Mick was leaving, Paddy called "Mick! Mick! D'ye think it will help if Oi pull me feet out of the stirrups?"