Mick Jokes / Recent Jokes
Paddy was trapped in a bog and seemed a goner when Big Mick OReilly wandered by. "Help!" Paddy shouted, "Oim sinkin!" Dont worry," assured Mick. "Next to the Strong Muldoon, Oim the strongest man in Erin, and Oill pull ye right out o there." Mick leaned out and grabbed Paddys hand and pulled and pulled to no avail. After two more unsuccessful attempts, Mick said to Paddy, "Shure, an Oi cant do it. The Strong Muldoon could do it alone, mebbe, but Oill have to get some help." As Mick was leaving, Paddy called "Mick! Mick! Dye think it will help if Oi pull me feet out of the stirrups?"
(Setting the scene, Ballymun outside of Dublin has a reputation as a rough spot) Fifteen minutes into Aer Lingus Flight EI109 from Madrid to Dublin the Plane encounters a serious problem with the Instrument landing systems. In a Fit of Panic, Paddy the Pilot turns to his co-Pilot and says. "Jazus Mick... Well have to turn back... none of the equipment is working!." Mick says to Paddy; "No Problem... Sure I can tell where we are by sticking my hand out the Window! "OK!" says Paddy, "Where are we then?"Mick winds down the window and sticks his hand out and replies; "Well Paddy, I reckon were over the Bay of Biscay. The humidity seems to be gone out of the air. This is caused by the seawater. Just Head North""Brilliant!" replies Paddy, and precedes north bound. Fifteen Minutes later Paddy asks: " Where are we now Mick?"Mick winds down the window and sticks his hand out and replies; " Were over the English Channel now. more...
Two Kiwi guys are working at the top of a high rise building site in New Zealand. Anyway, Phul (Phil) turns to Muck (Mick) & says "I've gotta take a puss, but there's nowhere to go."
"Walk out to the end of that plank" replies Muck. "I'll stand on this end and balance you."
"Are You sure Muck?"
"Yeah, no worries mate"
"100%?"
"YES!"
So out goes Phul to take a piss, but before he's finished, the lunch siren sounds. Muck forgets what he's supposed to be doing and steps off the plank. Phul, of course, is a goner.
Several months later, an Australian, a Frenchman and a bloke from New Zealand are sitting in a pub discussing which of their respective nations chase women the hardest.
Greg the Aussie says, "Mate, I've been known to miss out on a piss-up session down the pub with me mates trying to crack on to sheilas!"
Pierre the Frenchman says "Non, non, non. We more...