Minds Jokes / Recent Jokes
Minds are like Parachutes. They work best when open.
Just received this from my friend Sathyakama. He got it from /etc/fortune
If you don't understand Unix you will miss most (if not all) of this joke. Apologies in advance. To the rest, read on and laugh on! I was ROTFL!
The Gurus of Unix Meeting of Minds (GUMM) takes place Wednesday, April 1, 2076 (check THAT in your perpetual calendar program), 14 feet above the ground directly in front of the Milpitas Gumps.
Members will grep each other by the hand (after intro), yacc a lot, smoke filtered chroots in pipes, chown with forks, use the wc (unless uuclean), fseek nice zombie processes, strip, and sleep, but not, we hope, od.
Three days will be devoted to discussion of the ramifications of whodo. Two seconds have been allotted for a complete rundown of all the user-friendly features of Unix.
Seminars include
"Everything You Know is Wrong", led by Tom Kempson
"Batman or Cat:man?" led by Richie Dennis
"cc C? Si! Si!" led by more...
Contributed by Steve Kufer, who attended the event.
Here are highlights from Comedy Celebration Day on July 31, 1988 in
San Francisco. For those who plan WAY in advance, next year's
Comedy Celebration Day is Sunday, July 30th (1989!).
These are some of the comedians more memorable quotes during the day:
Michael McShane
I owe the government $3400 in taxes. So I sent
them two hammers and a toilet seat.
I'm a Psychic Amnesiac. I know in advance what I'll forget.
Sue Murphy
Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think
that's how dogs spend their lives.
My mother wants grandchildren, so I said, "Mom, go for it!"
Fred Reiss
I went to a Grateful Dead Concert and they played for SEVEN hours.
Great song.
Yuppie pregnant women don't go into labor, they go straight into management.
Jake Johansen
A lady came up to me on the street and pointed to my suede jacket.
"You know a cow was more...
Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.
Why do people with closed minds always open their mouths?