Ministers Jokes

The American ambassador visited the Romanian president. In the waiting
room he talked with two of the ministers for five minutes.
When he entered he said to the Romanian president,
"I really don't want to bother you but I talked with two of your
ministers, and my gold watch was disappeared."
So the president answered, "OK. I'll take care of it,"
left the room and came back two minutes later with the watch.
The ambassador said, "Thank you very much," said the ambassador.
"I hope that I didn't cause any crisis between you and them."
"That's OK," said the president. "They did not notice."
Hillel gazit%[email protected]

Three ministers and their wives discovered that their vacations were all at the same time, so to save money, they decided to rent an RV and travel together. But on the second day out, they were in a terrible accident, and all six were killed. They came to the Pearly Gates of Heaven and were greeted by St. Peter. "I know you are all men of the cloth," said St. Peter, "but as a matter of protocol I need to look up your records." He punched a few keys on his computer and studied the screen. He looked at the first minister's record, and grimly shook his head. "I'm sorry. Our files say you lusted after alcohol, and though you never drank any, lust is just as bad as the deed itself. It says here your lust was so strong that you wouldn't get married until you met a woman named Sherry." Poof, the minister and his wife were banished to Hell. He checked the next minister's record. Again he shook his head and said, "I'm sorry. Our files say you lusted after more...

These are the services offered at Mihin Lanka.
MENU: No western food is available. Only kekulu hale buth, indi appan, kurakkan pittu, kurakkan thalapa, pathola maluwa, parippu maluva and fried wel malu. Kiri peni and Hambantota kalu dodol are available for dessert.
BEVERAGES: No imported wines. You have a choice between' pol raa' (toddy) and' kashiya' (aka katukambi and suduwa).
IN FLIGHT MAGAZINE: A copy of Mahinda Chinthana
SMOKING: This is a non smoking flight but beedis are allowed. You can also enjoy a bulath vita. Please be careful when you open the window to spit.
IN AN EMERGENCY: You will find Buddhist monks chanting' Ithpiso bhagava...' in the screen in front of you
CLASSES: FIRST CLASS (Renamed Mahinda Class) Has only two seats and they are permanently reserved for Mahinda maama and his wife.
BUSINESS CLASS (Renamed Basil class) Reserved for Ministers, but only a limited number of ministers can be allowed due to the limitations in the more...

Thank you for calling “Heaven’s Gates” – your multi-church, multi-denominational hotline.
If you are a Methodist, please press "1" and your call will be transferred to the nearest potluck.
Catholics, please go to the altar and have the priest press "2" for you.
If you are Pentecostal, press "3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-Hallelujah!" and throw the phone onto the ground
Presbyterians, please form a committee. If there’s a quorum present and a 2/3 majority vote in favor of the motion, please press 4.
Lutherans, please press whatever number you wish, because, after all, you are the ONLY ones who use this line.
For the Amish, please walk to the nearest Mennonite and have them press "5".
Jehovah's Witnesses, please consult the secondary manual then press "5-6-6-2-5" – or “K-N-O-C-K” before 9pm.
If you are Jewish, and it is not a holiday, please press "7"
If you are Jewish, and more...

Not too long ago a large seminar was held for ministers in training.

Among the speakers were many well known motivational speakers. One such boldly approached the pulpit and, gathering the entire crowd's attention, said, "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman that wasn't my wife!"

The crowd was shocked! He followed up by saying, "And that woman was my mother!" - The crowd burst into laughter and he gave his speech which, went over well.

About a week later one of the ministers who had attended the seminar decided to use that joke in his sermon. As he shyly approached the pulpit one sunny Sunday, he tried to rehearse the joke in his head. It seemed a bit foggy to him this morning.

Getting to the microphone he said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of another woman that was not my wife!"

His congregation sat shocked. After standing there for almost 10 more...